THE PSYCH RUNNING CLUB
I was generously invited to comment (and perhaps add some XX levity) to the motley crew known as the MDOD. I’m honored since the word “douchebag” doesn’t really come immediately to mind for me…
Ah well, nonetheless, let me tell you of a motivational little story. I work as an ED doc at a facility that opened brand new shiny doors recently. They spent $200 million dollars on this monstrosity, and in a stroke of sheer genius, decided that our beds for suicidal/homicidal patients should be located at the opposite end of the hallway from security but literally 5 feet from the E-Z exit electric ambulance bay doors. Psych patients may be suicidal but they’re not paralyzed or stupid.
It took less than 24 hours for the first patient to make a break outta there. Another bolted on day 4, and a 3rd bolted on day 5. Not a bad track record, 3 psych patients out the door in 5 days. The second gal (my patient) ran more than a good half-mile down a major road weaving in and out of traffic, and the 3rd guy managed to get up to the interstate and go for a light jog. I love it. I’ve always wanted to start a running club in this town, and it looks like these guys are leading the way. I really think that since there doesn’t seem to be any urgency to get this problem fixed (gasp, dare I say that the new hospital has a problem? ) that a crossing sign should be installed at the closest intersection. (Kind of like a deer crossing sign, except with D. Peel-like figure running on it.) Perhaps, in an effort to increase our Press-Gainey scores, we could offer strategic Powerade stations and split-times. Heck, we could potentially even get some sort of sponsorship from Fleet Fleet or Runner’s World.
Where there’s a will and a half-assed vision of what a new ED should be, there’s a way!
Posts
27 comments:
You are hysterical. I love this post (because it is funny, not because of the escaping patients) and am so glad they asked you to post!
Do They still make Padded Rooms with Locks on the Doors?
Welcome, Dr. QuiXXote. Good story, and the image used as illustration was hilarious!
Imagine this--as luck would have it, the "WORD VERIFICATION" presented to me for this comment is "quixxot". Amazing coincidence, or is that in your honor?
Since you've been on a Monty Python kick lately, your post reminded me of this gem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16iNk1hLJt4
Welcome QuiXXote! It's about time the guys added a woman to the mix, and I am glad I saved my virginal comment for your first post. Way to come out with a BANG! In keeping with the highest traditions of MDOD, it is both witty and incisive. Looking forward to your next post. Cheers!
Ah, I love it.
We got a new ED a yearish ago. It took one (1) day for a railing to get torn off the wall by an...unstable...person.
Rock on QuiXXote! And welcome. NIce very funny post.
Thanks for the welcome, you guys are the best! Looking forward to some fun on this thang. Thank you Radgirl...soul sista get on with your bad self!... and Teresa that is just really amazing, are you making that shit up?
Q
Dr. Q,
Hee. You busted me. I made that up. But it's hard to stand out on this blog or get any attention otherwise.
Funny post, Quixxote and welcome!
But be careful, there has to be an Elvis Impersonators Association somewhere reading this and getting their lawyers rounded up. ;-)
Just put the psych patients in reflective vests like highway workers. It would be too much fun to design the warning sign.
Sad but true. One of these crazy psych patients escaped from our pitiful security and jumped in front of a train. He was an illegal immigrant. His family is suing myself and the hospital. It has already cost 90K in defense costs and has not gone to trial.
This is number #1 why I am planning to leave EM even if it does not come up on 911 docs list.
Anon;
I hear ya! This is exactly why I told my director that I will be happy to refuse to see any more pysch patients until they truly fix this problem. I refuse to be left holding the bag for the piss-poor design and for administrative ostriches who either can't or won't get their heads out of the sand.
I am truly sorry to hear that you are leaving EM and have no doubt that it will be medicine's loss.
I think the running club is going to give the "foil hat" club a (ahem) run for their money!
You have to decide if they are criminals or patients. They have commited a crime = criminal. They MIGHT commit a crime, so might anyone. Give them the magical label of mental patient and presto, preventative justice without a defense vs prosecution court trial and judge.
Q: Two words: "Get Some!"
Dr. Q,
Document the obvious problem. If there is one thing that administrators fear, it is people who document more than they do.
cc to head of security, psychiatric department head, all top hospital pencil pushers, local police, local and state politicians, Press Ganey, JCAHO (on hemp paper), . . . .
It should help to keep any lawyers focused on other people, if they see that you recognized the problem and brought it to the attention of everyone who might have been able to help.
Perhaps a sign of the letter psi crossing the road and the words "How do you feel about this?"
Our huge new ER has a similar set up, the fish bowl as we call it is right next to the ambulance doors, so feel free to wander in and out as you please! Our buildings must have the same architect.
this borders on the paranoid but i would not be at all surprised to find that in a super secret meeting, the suits figured out that since psyche is a huge money loser that it would be fine with them to lose a few patients this way.
Ah the Lord declairs all "psych" ED entries, as patients. Brain chemical imbalance test stat! What happens when you take away someones freedom without due process? Would they get angry? Maybe feel the need to escape? no of course not. What a set up.
Mark, I know you're a paranoid schizophrenic, but there is a process...they get an evaluation and if they are a threat to themselves or others, intoxicated, or psychotic, they are placed on a temporary or a 72-hour hold if they don't agree to stay voluntarily.
Without this ability to hold patients, we would not be able to help patients whose diseases take away their insight into problems (schizophrenia/mania/bipolar, for instance). They'd just end up hurting themselves or end up in jail. After the 3-day hold, many patients gain enough of their insight back to realize there is a problem and agree to stay voluntarily.
I can just see the men in the white coats running down the street after one of your patients. I'm too old to run after patients. I just wave as they run off.
"but there is a process" Nurse K.
Why don't you declare the drug seeker mentally ill? Because they can lie well? Where is his/her insight?
Or you could declare the alcoholic for his/her slow suicide-lack of insight.
or the smoker for his/her slow suicide-lack of insight.
or the grossly overweight for his/her slow suicide-lack of insight.
"They'd just end up hurting themselves or end up in jail." Criminals belong in jail. Adults are supposed to have the freedom to decide to perform good or evil actions. Good behaviour is not something you can put in a pill.
You call it a hospital, for those 72 hours what is it?
hate it when i am not clear here....
every human on this planet has inalienable rights. i do believe that. every human on this planet deserves respect, but, due to it's nature, every human on this planet has the ability to lose respect. if it were not so it would be meaningless to speak of a 'loss of respect'.
that being said, Jesus said we are to forgive those who sin against us 'seventy times seven'. now apart from that number being 490 i think the point is that our forgiveness of others should be easily and freely given.
respect, however, beyond the basic you are a human and deserve to live as you wish within the rule of law, is earned. if we all got what we deserved then we would almost all be in prison.
Rogue ID;
you are the man! That is so beautiful that I just can't hardly wait to get my letters started.
Dr. Q,
Try to get the rest of the emergency medicine group to sign this as well. If they see you as a lone trouble maker, they may see as more of a problem than the real problem - the easy exit psych room.
PLEASE DO NOT POST PATIENT INFORMATION ON THIS BLOG. THE PREVIOUS POST FROM AN ANONYMOUS POSTER WAS REMOVED FOR THIS REASON.
ALL PATIENT RELATED POSTS SHOULD BE ANONYMIZED OR THEY WILL BE REMOVED.
THANKS.
Post a Comment
ALL SPAM AND GRATUITOUS LINK POSTINGS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DELETED.