Love is Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Gomer Pyle used to say, "Fool me once, shame on you... Fool me twice, shame on me."

Got a call from one of my EMS crews on the radio warning us that they were coming in with a stabbing victim. They told us the victim was middle aged and had sustained three stab wounds to his chest. This always gets one's attention, but the paramedics told us that the victim was stable and having no respiratory difficulties.

Mr. X had that smell and look about him that gave him a .200 right off the bat on my intuitive alcohol scale (the real number was .221 and the legal limit in most states is .080). I could also tell that he was a professional drinker as he carried himself well for one so loaded.

His story was that he was sleeping when... ''My wife, or whatever you call her, started stabbing at me with a knife." I did not pursue the rest of the story though the police certainly did. His wounds were axillary and had not come close to penetrating the chest wall. I spoke with our surgeon, did and X-ray of the chest, shot him up with some lidocaine, and loosely approximated the wounds as my surgical colleague requested.

As a matter of completeness I checked out this gentleman's prior visits to our hospital. Lo and behold, almost a year ago to the day he had been brought in by ambulance in similar circumstances. His wife ''or whatever you call her'' had smote him in the head with a hatchet fracturing his skull. Seems she had been sent to the pokey for this and had just been released a few days prior.

I was a bit incredulous so I just asked the guy about it. It was, in fact, the same woman both times. I was nonplussed but did manage the following...

"Sir, I don't think she likes you." He replied somberly, "I believe you're right, doc."