Thursday, March 27, 2008

Cyanide and Hydrofluoric Acid Free Zone

I was at my local gym today and was just pleased as a pig in slop that it had been declared a 'tobacco free zone'. I thought that this was a capital idea, so I am one-upping them by declaring M.D.O.D. a cyanide and hydrofluoric acid free zone (effective immediately). I have created an administrative post (with pay) that I have nominated myself for and hereby accept. I am asking for the help of Dr. Deborah Peel with authoring a charter and constitution that we will enact in the near future. We are actively seeking administrative staff to administer the administrative paperwork (which will be produced in great volumes). Posters beware, cyanide and hydrofluoric acid will not be tolerated here and may subject you to sanctions which could be quite uncomfortable. Eventually we will involve the United Nations so check yo'self befo' you wreck yo'self.


  1. I'm your girl!

    Love, Deborah P.

    P.S. You were at the gym? Ooohh...

  2. if you're ever looking to outsource the paperwork to scotland, give me a holla.

  3. amib,

    'no borders' is our motto... uh, wait a minute, i think it was 'free fire zone' is our motto. will consider your kind offer. power through paperwork and res ipsa loquitor.


  4. Once, I drank a gallon of hydrofluoric acid, then swallowed 240 grams of cyanide powder. It took me a week to stop feeling short of breath and shitting blood.

    No, wait...Since you guys are pretty smart and might challenge this, I'll say that it didn't happen exactly like that, but as we get older we all forget little details. (Please insert goofy fake laugh here)

  5. erdoc85,

    Now you've done it. You just violated your own privacy. Don't you know how horrible that must be for you?

    The skeleton creeping up in your picture is but a metaphor for Dr. Deborah Peel - Avenging Angel, coming to punish you for your self-destructive behavior. I suppose that is playing along with your self-destructive needs, but Oh well.

    And you should seek therapy for that behavior - purely an unprofessional and irresponsible opinion, but who will entertain us if you do end it all. I don't do mourning. :-)