Saturday, February 24, 2007

Okay, That's It!

Here's a list of stressful jobs that most of us can agree on (in no particular order)...

1. Stock or bond trader
2. Bearing Sea crabber
3. College or Pro coach or athlete
4. US Navy SEAL
5. British SAS
6. Green Beret/Special Forces operator
7. Emergency Physician/Trauma Surgeon/Pick any other specialty here
8. Fighter pilot/ Helicopter pilot in Iraq
9. Official food taster for Fidel Castro
10. Britney Spear's child
11. Hillary Clinton's personal assistant or husband

Here's one that's NOT on my list... part-time physical education substitute teacher. Yet, for one poor soul, this job was way too much.

I mean what is it with people? It's a Friday night in the ED. There are three kids screaming from IV sticks and lab draws, one dude dying in bed three from his end-stage liver disease and variceal bleeding, a guy the cops brought in who's under arrest and has just been tazed who is awaiting clearance for jail while uttering, to anyone that will get near him, ''FUCK YOU MAN!", and a family of four from Mongolia (no shit) who barely speak English with an 18 year old daughter who is either declaring herself as schizophrenic OR has meningitis OR encephalitis OR has been badly cursed by a shaman in her native land.

In between it all is the aforementioned part-time PE teacher, in tears, with a headache, allergic to compazine, reglan, DHE, and toradol, who actually looks at me (with sweat and blood on my shirt), and tells ME that her two-day a week job is way too stressful, but that her life will magically turn to fluffy white goodness if she can simply get a shot of stadol and phernegan. KING ME!


  1. That about sums it up.

  2. Dude - don't get me started about spec ed staff. I have to deal with them as my kid has Down Syndrome. Most of them function about 1/2 step beyond the kids they are supposed to be helping. She probably does think her 12 hours a week is more stressful than your 12 hour day.

    (No straw man posts please - I said MOST - not ALL).

  3. These people have the unique ability to suck your soul, and my only hope is that at some point in their lives or the hereafter they pay for these trespasses.
    Mongolia? I hear Ulan Batur is beautiful this time of year.

  4. Great post. I also love the 4 am sore throat or rash that comes in when the rest of the ED is about to explode with sick patients (and only one doc on) and demands to get treated NOW for their symptoms that have been bothering them for a week.

  5. There is a special place in hell for PE teachers. I can't wait to dance on the graves of every elementary school and high school PE teacher that ever graced me with distain and turned their back as the students beat each other.

    It will take more than that to win my sympathy...