Friday, March 23, 2007

Peace, love, etc...

I am touched by the love I am feeling...

Yes, I am a pathologist - board certified in Anatomic and Clinical Pathology. I'm one of those guys who sits in the sub-basement, next to the morgue, in a windowless office and gets aroused by a case of ulcerating cloacagenic carcinoma (A.K.A. ass cancer). Most medical students are repulsed by pathology - and for good reason: opening a 12 pound necrotic ovarian mass that leaks onto your pants, well, sucks. I speak from experience.

Why do I do this? I hate patients. More accurately, I hate dealing with patients. They are ungrateful and rude; they want your service for free and will sue if their hangnail doesn't heal overnight. Of course, I'm exaggerating - I liked some patients - especially the guys in the VA (Vet speaking to a day 1 medical student: "sure Doc, you can practice a lumbar puncture on me"). I actually left a surgical residency because I hated patients so much and switched to a speciality where I don't have to talk to anyone. I don't know how the clinical docs do it, but I'm glad someone can stand it.

Anyway: hello, peace, love, etc... now I've gotta go open a bowel.


  1. When I went back to the hospital with cookies for the pathologist that found my cancer, everyone looked at me like I had three heads. Apparently most patients don't really even know the pathologist is there at all (I guess that may be how you like it?)

    Anyway, sometimes I am not crazy about people either, so I can see where you are coming from.

  2. dear radioactive girl,
    please clone yourself immediately, or, barring that, have lots of kids.

  3. I have diagnosed ~20,000 cases. Number of thank yous: zero.

    You are unique. My faith in humanity often asymptotically approaches the x-axis. You have pulled me back from the abyss.