My patients give me too much credit. I can answer most of their questions but God bless them, others are just, well, unanswerable without supernatural help. Hence the "crystal ball question"... examples follow.Q: Will my child catch this?
A: The magic eight-ball says "signs point to yes!"
Q: Can I still go on my trip to Mexico in two weeks?
A: Let me consult the oracle.
Q: How much will this cost me?
A: I have a better idea of where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Better get out the crystal.
Q: How long will I be in the hospital?
A: Until you get well or you die. Other than that only the crystal knows.
Q: Will they put me in a private room?
A: I don't know, let me ask them... Ball!
Q: If we decide to leave will junior throw-up again?
A: Ball!
My answer is usually:
ReplyDelete"If I could tell the future I wouldn't have to work for a living."
GruntDoc
Along the same line as GruntDoc -
ReplyDeleteMy usual answer is that I would be in Vegas making lots more money if I could tell the future.
CardioNP
I wonder what the patients would say if you really took one of those magic 8 balls in the room?
ReplyDeleteThe next call you received would be from the CEO of patient satisfaction and JCAHO compliance encouraging you to find work elsehwere and in another field, like, say, hot-dog vending.
ReplyDeleteI would love to sell hot dogs, and I would be damn good at it too.
ReplyDelete