Wednesday, April 18, 2007


I need to put a nothing post in between the last and the next so we can resume our light banter in a decorous fashion. Today in the ED I saw nothing interesting except a sweet little girl with her hand stuck in a decorative vase. The vase enclosed the whole arm almost up the shoulder. The parents had tried butter and lots of pulling but had no success in removing it. A hammer quickly fixed the situation and I sent her on her way. Very satisfying. I almost felt like an orthopedist.


  1. You broke a priceless ming vase just to get a little girls hand out. Was she right or left handed? Could she dress herself with one arm or her feet? I think you know what I'm getting at(axillary block, surgical kit, etc...). But I guess you did the right thing.

  2. The fact that you thought to put this spacer post in is exactly what drew me to your blog in the first place. Thank you for being you and for writing what you do!

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  4. rad girl,
    always love it when you visit. come by anytime.

    'cat. we did hang the young thing in finger traps from an IV pole but she screamed a lot and actually worked herself into a hyperventilatory state and vomited just before passing out.

    i then considered ketamine just to keep her quiet but the needle just made her scream more and the parents begged me to stop.

    i discussed with the parents using an acetylene torch to heat the vase up and remove it but this would have required split thickness skin grafting and for some reason they weren't into THIS option either.

    priorities people!

  5. /moonbat on

    Medicine is just the next tyranny and opiate of the masses. There can never be enough medicine and nothing is more important. Every hospital is capable of draining any family estate of generations of savings and possessions. Let’s stop spending money for veterinarians (people’s health care is more important than animals). Let’s stop spending on space exploration and research, people need health care now. Let’s raise taxes and spend it only on medicine.

    Alternatively, professional jobs that involve helping or serving people are more satisfied with their work and overall are happier than those in other professions, according to results from a national survey. Thus doctors should be paid less, not more; their job recompense is the joy they take in their endeavors helping others.

    Consequently, the solution is to close all hospitals. There were no hospitals when this country was founded? Who needs them now? Hospitals just come between patients and doctors and can be just as effective as health insurance companies of recommending incorrect patient care. Doctors can make house calls, and relatives can tend the ill.

    Moreover, doctors could go back to working for goods as their reimbursement for house calls. People could easily afford medicine back when most doctors worked for offerings and were happy for what they received. The doctors that were in medicine just to make a buck would be gone, leading to higher professionalism of the remaining.

    /moonbat off

    Seriously though, there has to be an end to how much can be wasted in the name of medicine on one patient. Doctors should be able to deduct non-reimbursed wages/unpaid work hours. How about tax credits for professional time donated to patient care for charity?

  6. you make a very convincing moonbat and you had me scratching my head for the bulk of the post. please come by anytime and moonbat away!

    agree with your final conclusions. i would be happy to work fee for service and would probably sleep better and make a nice salary. it's the byzantine system that kills us all with people in offices somewhere else dictating to patients and physicians what is allowed and what is reimbursable that is so frustrating. also, if i didn't have to practice "CYA" medicine i wouldn't do nearly as many tests. as it is, i have to be perfect.

  7. This girl's parents probably just watched 'Last Tango in Paris'

    If you don't understand this then you are stupid.

    and 911doc - how can you make light commentary after such a tragedy? I'm talking about, of course, the Andrea Doria. Too soon?

  8. i've never seen 'last tango in paris' so sue me.

    as for the 'andrea doria' only a cave-dwelling troglodyte like yourself could dredge that up (pun intended).

  9. Good job, Doc. Did they teach you how to break a vase in medical school? *snort*


  10. dear mother jones,
    i learned how to break vases in prison, but that's another story.

  11. Thank you so much for this blog. You crack me up...something I need after a long day.

    This story reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and got my head stuck in the back of those old-fashioned plastic chairs. It was teacher-parent day - the day when all the moms came to school to see just how brilliant their children are. My mom arrived to see three janitors standing around wondering how to get my head out of the chair. She must have been so proud.