My New Year’s resolution for 2008: shout down and belittle idiots who make statements such as the following:
“Cell phones cause brain cancer! I read it in Time!”
“High-tension wires cause cancer! My sister’s friend got leukemia and so did her next- door neighbor! They live half a mile from power lines!”
“Breast implants cause cancer! My cousin’s friend had implants and got cancer! She’s dead now!”
“St. John’s wort cured my friend’s uncle’s prostate cancer! They wanted to do surgery and make him impotent and incontinent! Doctors are jerks and don’t understand non-traditional remedies!”
Anecdotal evidence like this is retarded. When you next read in a newspaper or popular magazine about a ‘study’ that shows fava beans and patchouli oil may lower ‘bad’ cholesterol, I want you to stop and think before spewing your idiocy to everyone. Especially me. Yes, I am a doctor - but guess what, when you ask me if I heard about that amazing fava bean study, I’m going to kick you in the teeth.
By the way, have you heard about global warming!? It was the third warmest day in recorded history in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan! I’m not even kidding!!! Please study the attached diagram. Fucking corporations!!!