Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Results of the Medblog Combine and Draft

Esteemed and Not-so-esteemed Readers,

The doors to the MDOD house are now closed. We now have our team fully assembled and plan to challenge for the Medblog Superbowl within a year or two. We will run the spread option offense and employ a nickel package D against all challengers. We may even trot-out the single wing or wishbone in a pinch. I, the coach, reserve the right to employ spitting, eye-gouging, and generally dirty play. Beware challengers, we respect and admire Bill Belichick (our spies are everywhere with high quality digital video)! If we have you at the bottom of the pile you will scream for mercy and after that you will be water-boarded by Dr. X.

Please welcome to our stage two new additions. One you know well, Dr. Frank Drackman. He has won a lot of fans with his comments recently. What you do not know is that he honed his writing skills while in a Turkish prison where he served a few years after being caught with "contraband" at an Ankara airport security check. He came out of that debacle mostly fine with the exception of a somewhat off-kilter appreciaton for the digital rectal exam. Of course I may be confusing this with a movie I saw once but I'm sticking with it. Dr. Drackman will post shortly with his life story and correct any misinformation I may have promulgated here.

Secondly, please welcome to our blog an internal medicine physician and good friend from the days when I was a cabaret dancer with the "Adam's Apple" troupe in Vegas. He has not chosen his moniker yet, but he will post shortly and bring you up to date. Dr. Internist is famous for his being chosen as 'alternate' to the Belize curling team for the 1960 Olympics in Squaw Valley, California. Unfortunately, due to a particularly bad case of gonorrhea, he was unable to make the trip. Much better now though.

Welcome doctors! Post away.

19 comments:

  1. Good grief, I can barely keep up with you boys. Now you've added more fun to the mix. Hoo-rah. Let the games begin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. YAY!

    "I don't think I've ever been this happy."

    Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whoo-hoo! I'm so glad Dr. Drackman will be joining my favorite blog! I can't wait to read his posts.

    This will do nothing for my medblog addiction...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can internal med and ER docs really get along?

    ReplyDelete
  5. like rodney king and the po-po

    ReplyDelete
  6. like britney and her baby-daddies

    ReplyDelete
  7. Welcome Dr. Drackman. I've been a fan since his "anon" days!

    Good to have an internist join the throng to provide a different perspective.

    Now, the challenge is to see if we can be more outrageous than ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, I haven't been this excited since Kaley Cuoco appeared on Charmed!! And to think I almost sold my memoirs to J. Peterman,
    Honored,
    Frank

    ReplyDelete
  9. 911: did you, like, take a creative writing seminar recently? fucking brilliant.

    Looking forward to Drackman and the mystery internist...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I was hoping Frank could do a Consumer Reports-style article on the quality of fart machines for use in the ER. Our fart machine broke and we are shopping around for a new model. There are some new, uptight residents we need to break in.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmm Nurse K, would one even notice a fart in the ER? I'll do some research, as I've only used one model so far. If you don't count the old fashioned whoopee cushion style.

    ReplyDelete
  12. With all due respect, I feel strongly that the official defense of MDOD should be the 46, not some wussy nickel package.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Frank: I watched that episode yesterday!

    "Tell the pants story"
    "You cant it's not your story anymore"
    "Uh, well, I bought a pair of pants and they fit nicely and I kept them."

    Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The theory of the fart machine is to make YOURSELF fart (or have someone else do the remote control). The humor is watching everyone become uncomfortable because they just heard you break serious wind and want to be polite and not say anything.

    If you're really sly, you can stick the fart machine in the doctor's pocket and let 'er rip when he's talking to the medical director or something, but that's ballsier than most of the staff are willing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm fairly certain Drackman was an integral part of 85's , uh, sheep research. I believe he paid his way thru med school, uh, donating his "time"..
    Welcome!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Remember kids, "baaaah" means no!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh great, two more people to gang up on the 'less conservative' folk who read this blog.

    Personally I think you're more like the "K-gun" offense of the early 90's Buffalo Bills ala Jim Kelly.

    Have fun! Can't wait to see what happens next.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I want to be the "tight end" or the "deep snapper". I'm glad you took on the "head job", as you have a lot of experience getting the ball into the "end zone" and scoring. I will spend a majority of my time in the locker room, stretching and warming up.

    CAT

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is only the second time, no the third, or maybe it's the fourth (really, I'm not a blonde :-) time here, but you guys seriously crack me up. I probably should worn you that I will most likely be back and get my fill of laughter for the day. Fart machines are expensive I say stick with the whoopie cushion....it's a classic!

    ReplyDelete

ALL SPAM AND GRATUITOUS LINK POSTINGS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DELETED.