Friday, May 09, 2008

I Vant to Bite your Neck

Must have been a Vampire in a former life cause I

love necks. Met my wife based on her cute Sternocleidomastoid (she thinks it was the implants). Hey Reverend Wright, you want to talk about discrimination, just try putting an internal jugular line in left handed. You can't do it because in training they make you use your right hand just like English boarding schools did with lefties in the 1800s. Same thing with intubations, even if you could find a left handed Laryngoscope, no one would let you use it. True, you will give the patient a few nasty elbows to the nose doing a line left handed, but since when did patient comfort become an issue? One of my favorite operations to do anesthesia for was Carotid Endarterectomies under local. Basically you just inject a shitload of local anesthetic in the neck and ask to patient to be still for an hour or so. He even gets a bicycle horn he has to honk every so often to assure everyone his grapes getting enough circulation. You walk into the OR during one of those cases and you wonder where Groucho is hiding. The kids nowadays have fancy schmanzy Ultrasound machines to help them find the Jugular, but I prefer Drackies old school method. I don't trust any device that has a Probe and requires Lube.


  1. Oh Frank, how do I love thee? *swoons*

  2. Drackman...Dracula...I see where this is going.

    So you're an anasthesiologist. A gas passer. Cool.

  3. Christopher Lee the greatest Dracula of all times, mind you Bela Lugosi also played the part well. Were they playing the part I ask myself sometimes.

  4. Used to, don't do anesthesisa of any type anymore. Long story, same reason you don't see Pete Rose at Reds games. Thats the ticket, I was calling in bets on sporting events during cases, yeah.