Thursday, August 07, 2008
When the infectious disease docs come into our office grinning and holding a jar we know we are in for a treat.
One of my favorite ID guys came down a few days ago with a small mayonnaise jar that his patient had handed him with the comment: "I picked this out of my husband's poop". Now that's a good wife.
Inside the jar was a long white stringy thing, about 20 centimeters, that looked as if it had - how to put this - been living in someone's colon for a few days. It was sort of semi-digested and had a few tidbits attached. And, no, I didn't see any kernels of corn.
Poop is a funny thing. We are, by nature, a curious species. Come on. Admit it. We have all have 'looked back' to see what's there after an epic battle. I, myself, have had to call in friends to witness some inhuman turds after a night at the Sizzler. Some gems (not mine) can be found at ratemypoo.com.
I strongly recommend that you do not link to this site if you plan on eating for the next few days.
Now, doctors deal with feces all the time. I mean, it comes from the human body so it's beautiful, right? Uh... wrong. Shit is gross. That's why it's called shit. Now, thanks to wife / turd-diver, I've gotta figure out what's been up this guy's ass. Thanks alot.
Worms DO come out of people's asses. Pinworm is fairly common, but it's small. For a spaghetti-length thing like this you've gotta consider Ascaris (see photo above - no that's not pasta).
The thing was pretty digested so it was hard to tell what it was grossly, so we put through a few sections to look at under the microscope.
The sections that came out showed no internal structure to indicate a parasite. But there was some (partially digested) skeletal muscle attached to the outside. A diagnosis was rendered.
I wonder what the conversation will be like?
ID doc: Ma'am, your husband likely ate a 22 oz porterhouse and you plucked a cow's tendon from his stool. I recommend a vegan diet and a hobby aside from playing with his shit.
Wife: Thank you doctor! May I have it back for my collection?
ID doc: Please leave before I vomit.
Posted by Etotheipi at Thursday, August 07, 2008