Thursday, August 07, 2008

A New Batch Of Doogie Howsers

Have you guys ever noticed that each July - in cities and towns all across America with hospitals that are home to medical residency programs - there are always a few brand new resident doctors that just happen to run into the grocery store with their scrubs and stethoscopes on?

It's usually guys. They can't seem to contain their excitement about actually being a physician and, well, it looks really cool. They also don't realize that in about 6 months they're going to wish they could take their stethoscopes off and strangle their classmates, residency director, and hospital administrators who keep beating on them to discharge patients early on rounds, watch their use of formulary-restricted antibiotics, and park in the right spot in the hospital parking lot goddamit.

It's an interesting phenomena. And let's face it, chicks dig the long stethoscope.


  1. loved the blog. It's a great view of how liberalism has destoryed the medical industry. If you get the chance take a look at mine.
    If you follow politics that is.

  2. congratulations newly minted MDs. now the real learning starts.

    have fun with your pagers!

    don't forget, it's a marathon not a race... that is, unless you happen to be a type A which, is kinda common with you guys.

    as far as learning goes find the good residents and attendings and stick close.

    make yourself invisible while on the service of the inevitable bombastic, egomaniacal super-duper adademics. do what you are told and shut your yap or you will be roasted on a spit for others entertainment.

    also, listen to your good nurses and don't stand for abuse from the ones who take pleasure in making your call nights miserable with q5 minutes pages on not sick patients. write orders on these patients and then you can simply point these folks back to the orders.

    it's drinking from a fire hose but it really will go by in a huge blur. congratulations.

  3. A stethoscope means you listen, and chicks dig that.

  4. Gives me something new to look at and be pissed about since they're all married.

  5. sigivald:
    Interesting theory. It didn't seem like that cheerleader was listening to it, but she was playing with it like it was a microphone...

  6. i work with a private practice of some of the best docs in my area and i must say that there's one in bunch who steals the surgical scrubs from the hospital and wears them just about anywhere!!!! LOL....and he's been doing that shit for years!! TACKY!

  7. I am also fond of the surgery resident douchebags who wear their little seaman-style paper hats everywhere.

    I want to tell them, "Hey fuck stick -- the idea is to keep both you and the patient clean. They're disposable for a reason. Don't wear it to the cafeteria and then to the OR."

  8. A stethoscope means eventually you'll be earning lots of money and everyone digs that!

  9. dear wendy,

    alas, tis not true. check out post on this blog entitled 'medgeekonomics'. none of us are starving but i don't know anyone driving a benz either. i'm serious. i happen to know that the authors of this blog drive pick up trucks, a minivan, and a five year old dodge durango.

    big money? neurosurg... plastic surge... but those guys and gals don't start pocketing said big $$ till their mid thirties and they are usually suffering from PTSD by that time too.

  10. Just found this blog, and you folks crack me up! Thanks for keepin' it real.

  11. Yes Wendy, it is a terrible and sad situation. Bono is putting a concert together.
    In the meantime, if you go to their hospital, watch where you park. They siphon gas out of their sickest patients' cars.

  12. Thanks to 911Doc for great advice -- past & present.

    As for the scrubs, I sometimes wear mine to the grocery store b/c I'm passing by post-shift and I know sleep trumps a special trip to the grocery store any day. That said, I'm aware it's nasty to bring my clean-appearing but definitely germ-ridden scrubs into public places / places where food is stored.

    Tho' the last time I did just that a smokin' hot guy asked for my number.

  13. What's up Docs?

    I'm a medical librarian. I was at the big teaching hospital for about five years, so I knew many of the medical students from my time there. 99% of them where cool. 1% were the biggest pricks I've ever met.

    So now I'm at this other hospital in town and the med students are now the residents--they're stopping by to say hello.

    One of the 1% I mentioned showed up in the library the other day, his usual stuck-up self (we used to joke we had a bet he'd either transfer or flunk-out) and my first thought was to just beat the living shit out him.

    "Welcome to your first year of residency, muthafucker!"

    But I imagine that job will fall to Physicians like your selves!

    Go for it!

  14. I never ever wear my scrubs outside the hospital.
    I don't want anyone showing me their rash.

  15. I would love to see their rash.

    That settles it, I'm going to wear scrubs 24/7. Thanks, CAT!

  16. it's NOT the stethoscope.. it's their thumb..
    i think.
    or maybe the big toe?
    hmmm. or , i guess, the stethoscope.

  17. This JUST happened to me! I live near two medical schools and two teaching hospitals, so it was bound to happen. As a medical student myself, I still found myself laughing and pointing this obviously young resident out to my boyfriend as he literally ran into the grocery store.

    And yes, he was wearing stolen scrubs.

  18. I have always avoided at all costs going anywhere in public in scrubs due to the attention it seems to attract. No way would I be caught dead near the OT meds aisle! And seriously, wearing your stethescope in public? LOL I just love new residents, they're so fun to mess with!

  19. Well I finally had a negative experience last night while wearing scrubs at my local Whole Foods. ernurse's words echoed in my ears and I vowed to never again wear scrubs in public no matter how empty my refrigerator may be. I've put on a few pounds since starting rotations, so this could be just the ticket to keeping further weight gain at bay.