I'm a dinosaur.
I wanted to be the guy in the pinch. I wanted to hit the homer with two outs and one on in the ninth... full count, fastball, WHAM! I was this guy... for a while.
Egostistical? Maybe, but maybe a healthy desire to acheive excellence and make a difference. God complex? You tell me. Or am I simply arriving on scene a little too early or a little too late?
One thing is certain... as long as the American public wishes to embrace nanny-statism it will be hard for me to find my niche unless I work for myself. Within my little ER world I should now be 'the man' and in many respects I am.
Clinically I am certainly top notch and I am the one, along with my incredible colleagues, my fantastic nurses, paramedics, and techs, that DO the nasty, dangerous, and critical stuff. If this sounds arrogant I am sorry, I am not trying to sound arrogant... I trained to do this for many years and to do this I need to be confident in my abilities... I am.
We stick people with huge needles, we do minor surgery, we occasionally do major surgery (but always fail as cracking someone's chest open in the ER rarely works to get someone fixed and eventually home), we jump-start hearts with thunderous doses of electrical current, we break terrible news, we pronounce babies dead, we pronounce old folks dead, we save lives, and we make mistakes.
The thanks are few these days given the horrendous wait times and huge bills. I am caught between the realization that I AM, in fact, doing an important job, and the realization that my common sense solutions are NOT appreciated, and will not be implemented anytime soon.
It's time to leave, and just in case you are wondering why I did this in the first place, keep your eyes peeled... a post soon to come will explain that, AND why I have no regrets.