Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dr. X From Parts Unknown

1. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist or Democratic Party?

Yes. No (I do have my principles).

2. Aside from scoring tons of chicks (or dudes if you are into that), why did you go into medicine?

To experiment on the human beast.

3. If you had a magic wand, what would you change in medicine (and NO, you can't use it on your own penis / vagina)?

I would march all clipboard carriers and government agency inspectors to a special camp where they would be forced to listen to each other read their own course material for fourteen hours a day. Meals would be prepared by a standard hospital cafeteria and would be available between 6 and 6:10am, 12 and 12:10pm, and 7 and 7:10pm.

4. Summarize the meaning of life in Haiku form.

To the camps we go
To reeducate whitey

5. Name one book, one movie and one piece of art you would immortalize and one of each that you would destroy permanently.

Art? Surely you jest.

6. If you lost your job tomorrow and could not get any job related to medicine, what would you do?

What I do now.

7. If you could, one time only, travel back in time, would you do it and what choices would you make differently? If "yes", then, are you insane?

I would travel back in time to the beginning of the Obama presidency and short the industries which the government aims to 'save'.

8. Do you play an instrument? Are you good? (Answering: "Yes, the skin flute, and I'm great!", is not acceptable).

I can make any sound come out of an adult human.

9. What is the biggest mistake you have made professionally?

I have not made any mistakes that can be proven.

10. How would you kill yourself if you were forced to move to France?

I would take a suitcase nuke under the Arc de Triomphe and drink wine during the countdown.

11. Worst part of your job?

The mess.

12. How certain are you that God does / does not exist? Give percentages.

It is my sincere belief that because he has allowed me to practice my craft that he does not exist. If he does, I better get busy with that fountain of youth thing.

Я не знаю, что, участвуя в этом блоге, что я буду подвергнут "Опры Уинфри" глупость.

1 comment:

  1. Seriously are the most mysterious of the MDOD docs. You sound like you work in a Gulag...

    Where's the obligatory Russian quote?