Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Blogging My Surgery

So an ENT surgeon is going to do some Tonsillectomy-ing and other stuff in a few days. From everyone I've talked to this is going to be a SUPER FUN experience, so I thought I'd write about it.

I have already informed the surgeon's nurse that I plan on being the WORST patient they have ever had and that I was allergic to all medicines starting with T and that the only thing that works for me is that thing that starts with 'D'. So I believe I have set the stage.

It doesn't help matters that all of my ENT friends (all two of them) tell me this will be ''THE WORST PAIN EVER'' which, in a way, is cool, because IF it is THE WORST PAIN EVER then I can shut down all the saucy women who claim that there is nothing so painful as childbirth.

Stay tuned.


  1. Tonsills??
    Guess its better than tellin us you have the Hiv-ie...
    and I heard in Eng-a-land they still use Chloroform...
    Just Bustin Balls, and I love the "Starts with a "D" and "Ends with "Ol"" thang...
    I used to give em' Droperidol, meets there gramatical requirements and no annoying "waste" to document.
    And I remember this time a CRNA student asked me to document her waste, and I told her I wasn't into the kinky stuff, then she slapped me, which I am sorta into, so it was a Win-Win...
    and "worst pain ever" I'll see your tonsilectomy and raise you a groundball to the balls, which ended my short career as a lefthanded shortstop before it even began...


  2. There's an anecdote in Anne Lamott's _Bird by Bird_ where she called to ask for a painkiller refill while recovering from a tonsillectomy and was instead advised to chew gum.

    For what it's worth, my mother maintains that passing a kidney stone hurt more than childbirth.

  3. Look at the bright side...
    The Pre-Op Versed's your one chance to ask the CRNA to deep throat the 9.0 ETT...
    And who'd you blow to get your tonsils out in this harsh 3rd Party Payer environment??
    But hey, at least your not in Merry Eng-a-Land where you'd have to ask some Grumpy RN Nurse Practitioner for some Auromycin like friggin Oliver Twist...
    anyway, good luck, and watch out for the saddle embolus...

  4. Will be thinking of you 911. Be a good boy.

  5. no droperidol for me dude, but i hope they send in an intern or resident for anesthesia... gonna tell 'em i've been getting immunotherapy with small doses of succinylcholine for a few years now because i never want to be paralyzed. gonna say it with a straight face. also going to get a bit 'grabby' with the nurse after the versed... man, woman... doesn't matter. i'm going to be a huge pain in their asses.

  6. Quitcherbitchen, the 10 year old had hers done and was eating real food the following week.

  7. no doubt C, i hope to be doing the same. but if you take look online at 'adult tonsillectomy' (and uvuloplasty and turbinate reduction) then you will see stuff like, 'expect to feel like a monkey's raw nutsack for about three weeks and don't expect to sleep much except sitting up in a chair with a humidifier blowing up your nose'.... no worries though, i have 'really high pain tolerance' and 'recover quicker than those other people'... i do plan on screwing with all the residents though, that will be fun.

    1. hubby had this done in the late 90s...he was not a happy camper to say the least...his magic med? percocet! Good luck to you, and hopefully the sleep apnea will cease and desist as did hubby's after recovery!

    2. Ya, hubby had his done when he was 32 and liquid vicodin was his friend. I think the 10yo had the same medication.

      I was just trying to boost your spirits. The Demerol in recovery for pain control was the worst idea ever for her. Good luck, hope it helps your apnea. Good sleep is worth it's weight in pain.

  8. Now 911, you just don't have the smarts to sort through what's good medical information and what is poor information on the internet. I just don't want you worrying needlessly.

    Also, don't try the "You have to hold my penis for me because since my tonsillectomy, I can't stand and hold it to pee at the same time - I might feel faint" thing with female nurses - I'm just gonna get you the biggest, ugliest tech or male nurse I can find to hold it for ya...


  9. Before my wife's node biopsy (which turned out to be a modified radical neck) she grilled her surgeon: 'Did you drink this weekend? Are you hungover? Are you having relationship problems? I want to know before you cut me open!' The look on his face was priceless.

  10. I also have a very high tolerance for pain. Having had 3 babies with no medication, I can tell you that was not the “WORST PAIN EVER”. Sciatica! Ouch! I am ready to shoot myself in the head. I took the thingy which begins with p and ends with a t; then the thingy which starts with a d and ends with a d to no avail. I have surgery this week, so you have given me some great questions to ask. I am terrified. :(

    Tonsillectomies must be pretty rare these days.

  11. interestingly,
    this surgery was for snoring only. was dx with sleep apnea years ago and would snore through the mask. wife finally got me to get another study.... no osa, really bad snoring, grizzly bear snoring. luckily, this is EXACTLY the kind of situation that the surgery is best for. with OSA you are looking at 30-50% good success at five years. with this it's a pretty good lock that you are done snoring for good. my wife will be so happy and so will I.

  12. Pancreatitis pain is worse than childbirth, fwiw.

    Glad you're now recovering from your surgery.

  13. not to disagree, but there's pancreatitis and there's pancreatitis. and the bad kind, well, give me a gun instead. you are correct there. and thank you for your kind wishes.