Me: "Ma'am, how long have you had sinus congestion?"
Patient: "Ever since I got back from Hawaii."
Me: "Assume for a moment that I don't know when that was..."
Me: "Sir, have you ever had an operation on your abdomen?"
Patient: "No, but I did have one on my stomach."
Me: "And what was that sir?"
Patient: "I don't know... don't you have my records?"
Me: "We might sir, but what did the surgeon tell you was the reason for your surgery?"
Patient: "He said I needed something cut out of me."
Me: "And what did he 'cut out of you'?"
Patient: "Something in my stomach."
Me: "And why did you need 'something in your stomach cut out'?"
Patient: "Because the surgeon told me I needed it."
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
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I had experiences like this with vascular patients, many of which were chain smokers. It was dramatic. They just could not answer most of the routine questions. After a few days on that service I decided that arteriosclerosis did not just affect the legs and the pelvic organs, but also that one organ above the end of the spine....
ReplyDeleteYay! I love it!
ReplyDeleteMe: Sir, do you have any medical history? Diabetes, heart problems, anything?
Pt: No.
Me: Sir, have you ever had any surgery?
Pt: No.
Me: Blah, blah, blah.
Pt: Well, I did get shot once.
Me: Where at?
Pt: In the alley.
Me: Nevermind.
What brought you here today?
ReplyDeleteThe ambulance.