Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Child as a Battering Ram

Once every few months I get an angry mom presenting to the ED with their child. The child is usually a girl though not always. The complaint is that "Her father might have molested her."

Inevitably the story then unfolds of the nasty breakup or divorce and the ongoing custody battle. The child, usually pre-verbal or just verbal (two or three years old in other words) is prompted with leading questions about what happened "at daddy's house".

"Did daddy hurt you?"
"Did daddy touch you there?"

Then the mother (and usually the maternal grandmother), quite frantically, bring their child in for me to act as judge, jury, and executioner to the absent father. They are sure that the father is a molester and has no right to ever see the child again.

I am obligated to do an external genital exam which always is traumatic for the child, and obligated to talk to the Child Protective Services people. Their reaction is always the same. A groan and an agreement to visit the child in the home and check on the allegations.

And back and forth we go. What a spot to be in. I can't ignore the allegations and the child is caught in the middle. People actually have to pass a test to get a driver's license but can just go have a child. Hooray. Oh, and for all you folks who earnestly want to have a child but are having problems with conception I recommend starting to use crack or heroin... Works every time.


  1. So true. This is such a frustrating situation to be in.

  2. I've been the poor father in one of these. It worked, for a while. Then it blew up in her face.

    Here're some FACTS for your edification:

    FATHERS almost never molest their children. Stepdads, mom's latest boyfriend, relatives, etc -- most often the father FIGURE of the week -- but almost never FATHERS.

    When a breakup is in the offing, the validity rate is a statistical ZERO.

    Mom should be jailed for child abuse.