Thursday, March 06, 2008

Stupidity + Electricity

Like the generally good guy that I am, I was helping my sister move this past weekend. I went to set up her dryer, and was immediately perplexed by the fact that her dryer had a 3 pronged plug and the recepticle had 4 holes.

I figured Home Depot would have some sort of adapter. Alas, there is no such thing. The very enthusiastic assistant (whom I believe suffered from severe hypothyroidism, dysthymia, bradycardia, and Parkinson's) sold me a whole new cord and explained the re-wiring of the dryer. It sounded simple enough.

So, I took my new cord, a screwdriver, a wrench, and a rudimentary understanding of dryer wiring into the laundry room. I wired it up just as he told me and was quite pleased with myself.

I leaned over the dryer to plug it in and the next thing I knew, I was 10 feet away laying on the floor twitching. It was 2 or 3 minutes before I could move my arms or legs.

According to the service man who came to correct my mistake, this wasn't the first time he'd seen the same thing from a novice electrician recieving instructions from the pros at Home Depot. I had wired the hot wire to the ground which subsequently ran 220V through me when I leaned over the dryer and plugged it in.

Fortunately, no permanent damage to either me or the dryer. But don't tell my sister. I still get sympathy by twitching from time to time!

23 comments:

  1. You are braver than anyone I know to take electrical advice from a Home Depot employee! Glad you weren't seriously hurt! (Shhhh...Mum's the word)

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  2. I'm glad you weren't hurt! Electricity scares me. For some reason my husband thinks he knows what he is doing with it and almost always ends up like you did. Luckily his uncle is an actual electrician (unlike the pretend one my husband tries to be) so he comes to bail us out from whatever my husband thinks he can do. And then I pretend I don't know that his uncle fixed it for him. It seems to work well for us.

    You ARE a good guy to help your sister! I haven't heard from my brother in almost a year and when I heard from him last he was yelling at me that he better not get cancer because of me. He's smart, right?

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  3. I feel obligated to tell you that I am so chatty again because I am STILL stuck at home with kids with fevers from flu. Stupid flu!

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  4. erdoc:
    Do what I did: swear off all home improvements / DIY / yardwork / gutter cleaning etc... When my income topped $100k+ I decided to pay someone else to fall off a ladder and quad-out / shock themselves into cardiac arrest / cut off a finger mowing the lawn.
    My wife thinks it's just because I'm a lazy fuck - she is partially correct.

    And taking wiring advice from a Home Depot employee? You are bold / insane.

    rad girl: I read a bunch of your blog entries recently: how the bloody hell can you be a fan of this blog?? You are way to nice for this bunch of misanthropic freaks known as MDOD. Here's a free ad for your blog: If you want to read something life-affirming / sweet / funny - read rad girls blog - and run screaming from here.

    I'm now going to use as many "/"s as possible when I write.

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  5. Wow, ERdoc, what a shocking experience :) It might just be my dirty mind, but I'm sensing some underlying psychosexual dynamics here. Your sisters "dryer"? I won't even get into the 3 and 4 pronged stuff. I've never really understood electricity, and thats a good thing. Thanks again for being allowed into this August gathering,
    Frank

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  6. I cant resist,

    "When I was young and had no sense, I took a whiz on an electric fence, it hurt so bad, it shocked my balls, it made me crap in my overalls"
    Just remember, we're laughing with you,

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  7. Well, when I was aboutr 9 or 10 my grandpa tried to "fix" a fuse on a Sunday...with a copper penny in the fusebox resulting in a rain of fire on "said" grandchild (me!) that burned up all the wiring in the attic and caused the whole house to be rewired. The last time my hubby "fixed" something electrical with the air conditioning it cost us somewhere in the range of $1000 to replace all the burned wire....be afraid...very afraid.

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  8. ErDoc85: Dude, glad you're alright!

    Frank: "I peed on an electric fence once, sure woke me up."

    Major props if you can tell me what book that's from...you probably won't know unless you have kids...here's a hint "dog."

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  9. etotheipi-Great! You write that today on the day I write about my perving on guys that are too young for me. People are going to feel quite cheated if they click over to me now!

    ee-I have kids and I don't know it. The only thing I can think of is an episode of Ren and Stimpy.

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  10. Bet that's the biggest "explosion" you've had in YEARS.. lol.. <3 ya 85! :)

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  11. Radgirl: It's a book.

    I hate Ren and Stimpy!

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  12. IF it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger!

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  13. scalpel,
    how about ghonorrea? C2 cord compression? bobbitectomy? i think neitsche may have been wrong and damn the germans for their spelling of names.

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  14. I think I cracked a rib laughing. Ahem, ER, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with....oh, who am I kidding? I'm laughing at you, big guy.

    The nature of electricity eludes me - I hire butt-crack-wearing electricians to do my dirty work. It's more fun to watch them sail across the floor.

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  15. I thought we had 110V in the US...
    Don't we?

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  16. Never mind, one learns everyday. :-)

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  17. I'm glad everyone enjoyed my electrocution. You are laughing WITH me since even when I was twitching, I thought it was pretty funny.

    Amy, I guess you found out that standard household wiring is 120v, but dryers and ovens use 220v thus the special plugs....and thus the better reason to leave the wiring up to the pros!

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  18. So did you end up with any cool super powers, like an X-Man?

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  19. As a matter of fact, I did. I can look at any attractive woman and immediately imagine her naked. Using the same powers, I can look at my wife and see her fully clothed.

    Wait....come to think of it, I've had those powers for a long time.

    Since the incident, whenever I look at an electrical plug, I piss myself, but I'm not sure that's a power.

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  20. The quote I mentioned earlier was from Hank the Cowdog.

    Drover said "I peed on an electric fence once, sure woke me up."

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  22. Hummm?? Wonder if either shocking the shit out of myself with 220V or pissing on an electrical fence would get me out of my next A Fib episode??

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  23. Fart: Given your size and legendary "girth", I'd suggest that you'd have to piss on the super-duper electric fence around Gitmo to have any effect!

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