Saturday, May 03, 2008

Frankie goes to Holywood (Or how I spent my Economic Stimulus Check) Week 1


Theres something about Bugs Bunny in Hebrew thats just funny. I know I should be offended that a cartoon rabbit is out smarting a sacred Islamic figure, but I'm sorry. I bet even Bin Laden laughs when nobodys watching. What a trip, surly Arab cab drivers, fascist security guards, and that was just in Atlanta. El-Al is great. 100% American built jets (not the commie-Euro Airbus crap that most American airlines use) armed undercover agents on every flight, never had any jets end up in the side of tall buildings. The security helps keep out the riff-raff, it didn't feel quite as much like a Greyhound bus as your typical Delta flight.








Thats supposed to be Jesus's tomb. Not quite the tourist trap I thought it'd be. Did pass on the "Jesus Slept Here" T- shirt though. Its not everywhere you can bump into 2 young ladies carrying M-16s in the hotel lobby. My kind of breakfast, Marlboro lights, and a Diet Coke.












Wife was busy getting emergency manicure. Koreans have even taken over the Nail Salon business in Israel. Don't let their cuteness fool you, each one of these young ladies will rip your heart out if you try any terrorist stuff. Thats the Wailing Wall on the right. On my list of favorite walls, I'd rate it in between the Berlin Wall and Fenways Green Monster. During Gross Anatomy the faculty used to post the test answers on a wall outside the lab, along with a sheet to challenge any disputed questions. We all called it the "Wailing Wall" . The pic on the upper right is "Minerva", a lesbian Jazz club, my wifes idea to go, honest.
Observations from Week 1..Larry King style...I was the only male wearing a tie on the Atlanta-JFK flight, whatever happened to dressing up? Gas is really expensive here, but I'm surprised the Arabs sell them any at all. Trying to teach the wife to drive a stick shift on the rental car, with the inevitable stalls at busy intersections we're getting cursed out in 3 languages. I don't know whats stranger, an old orthodox jewish man wearing a Red Sox cap, or the Soccer Moms toting Uzis...You can't beat Sals in the Bronx for a great corned beef sandwich...

45 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Frank! What did you bring us?

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  3. Agree with you about El Al. Is it just that America is so big that we can't ensure that kind of security on our airlines?

    I really envy you the trip to Israel. It's been on my to-do list for decades but time is running out.

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  4. Just got back from the Holy Land - and heading back for trip #5 in another month...
    Your pictures are great (i have some israel pics on my blog as well)

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  5. Almost got shot in the holy land last time I was there. The convent we were staying at (don't ask) had an eleven o'clock curfew and we were running back through Jerusalem to make it. Needless to say, the guards didn't take too kindly to it. I was lucky as hell they decided to let me go, my friend behind me pointed out how they reacted.

    Cool pictures.

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  6. Hey Frank and Mrs.Frank! Enjoy Israel! Glad to see that ya'll are having fun.

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  7. I'm sorry. I don't believe it. "My wife forced me to go to the lesbian bar." Not if you have a Y chromosome. I think it was the next best thing to the strip club you could come up with that she would agree to. She probably shot down the midget strip club next door.

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  8. Hey Pinky, check out the Onion radio newscast: "Longtime Sexual Fantasy Awkwardly Fulfilled". I have several lesbian rock climbing buddies, and this fact is always of extreme interest to guys.

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  9. It was a compromise Jimmy Carter would have been proud of..She likes Jazz, I like Lesbians.

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  10. it is unfortunate that the lesbians i LIKE tend to be the butch ones. they're just like hanging out with the boyz.

    the ones that make my jaw hit the floor tend to hate me. that's why i could never close the deal even with many cocktails.

    i think i came on the scene a bit too early for it to be common for those young beautiful cheerleaders i see in all those 'art' films to go for a romp with me. *sigh*

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  11. I have yet to meet a conservative lesbian--that's your problem, Doc.

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  12. That and being a man, of course (-:

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  13. ARt filM? Is that code word for Gay porn? Speaking of GAy porn I want to post some up on the propaganda posters my nurse manager puts up saying we met 91 percent of our goal for this quarter.

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  14. It's actually straight porn: Supposedly gay women, performing for straight men. Should have a disclaimer, "No actual homosexuals were involved in the making of this film."

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  15. Memorable dates in my life..
    2-20-62, John Glenn first American to orbit Earth
    4-4-68, Martin Luther King assasinated
    6-2-80, Graduated Highschool
    10-28-95, Braves win first World Series in Atlanta
    4-26-01 Winona Ryder and Jennifer Anniston kiss on episode of "Friends"
    Its been downhill since then

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  16. That's so funny-I was just thinking of that scene. It was Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox, Frank (I wasn't distracted by my hormones)--they kissed for 60 seconds to get something out of the guys, and the guys then both hurriedly said, "I'll be in my room".

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  17. There is something very sexy about a soccer mom with an uzi. Good to have you back from the holy land. You weren't over there with Carter on his "peace" mission, were you?

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  18. Devorrah, don't challenge me on my Winona Ryder lesbian kiss trivia. I'm certain because thats the only Friends episode I went out of my way to see. And Shrodinger, I almost gave up peanuts when that mongoloid Carter was elected president so I wasn't aware he was over there.

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  19. Hey, I used to LIVE with a lesbian, so I know my lesbian trivia. We must have seen different episodes with different lesbian kisses. Wow, I just typed the word lesbian four times in one comment.

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  20. So if it is two women having sex it is not gay porn? Now you sound like a guy Devorrah. I have heard that from Men before. "Oh two women together? That is Art not pornography. Geez, what are your thoughts on Robert Maplethorp?

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  21. devorrah,

    the 'straight porn' comment reminds me of a great mystery.

    women's sexuality seems to have plasticity (no pun intended), also, same sex encounters among women can easily be discounted as 'experimentation' or a 'phase'. also, 'lesbians' in a 'commited relationship' sometimes uncommit and go straight, often getting married and having kids etc...

    why is it therefore, that for guys, all you gotta do is suck one dick and you are forever a 'cocksucker'?

    i love that one!

    but seriously, i believe what you say that most of the women in those movies are straight and 'just acting', but i would not believe it from any male 'actor' in gay porn. see above.

    i believe now is about the time that etotheipi will chime in with one of his first hand observations. all puns intended.

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  22. mappelthorp was not edgy enough for me.

    honestly, his photos were only famous because they managed, in an age where very little is offensive, to offend. he also had the impenetrable armor draped on him for representing an 'oppressed' group.

    his stuff was shit. absolute shit.

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  23. I know that to be true because I know so many lesbians, and they would never consider watching that stuff (one sister and many friends). The actresses may have some lesbians in their ranks, but those films are produced for MEN. There is lesbian porn, but it is produced for women, by women, and it doesn't look anything like that.
    911, I think you're right. Some lesbians are bisexual, and you have to careful to not "out" them when they're around the militant anti-male lesbians. I was on a climbing trip when I accidentally caused World War III in the car by asking one friend about a man I knew she was seeing. That kills your gay cred if you're bi.

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  24. Which isn't to say that in general lesbians are anti-male--they're not. They probably have less to be pissed about than straight women, since they don't sleep or live with y'all. I just happened to know a few at the time, and we've since parted company.

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  25. Lesbians huh? That reminds me of how whenever I reveal my "list of 5" (you know what I'm talking about, right? my 5 famous people freebies if I ever were to run into them?) everyone is always shocked that there is one woman on there in addition to the 4 men.

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  26. Radioactive girl, I've been to one World Fair, a picnic, and a Rodeo, but I have no idea what your list of 5 is, please enlighten me.

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  27. Everybody has a List of 5, Drackman.

    RadGirl, mine changes every couple of years, but there's always at least one chick on it. I mean, if you're really making a List of 5, be honest about it! ;-)

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  28. monkeygirl-thank goodness you knew what I was talking about, and I love that you also have a girl on yours too. Yes, mine changes sometimes, but has remained mostly the same for a while now.

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  29. Hey, you can't throw that out without disclosing at least part of your list..

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  30. Kate Hudson and Neve Campbell are the two women that take turns being on my list. The man on my list that usually gets people looking at me funny is Jim Belushi. The other 3 men are nothing shocking, although not the regular crushes most women have (I am not attracted to Brad Pitt, George Clooney etc.) I think I wrote a post about my 5 once, but I have no idea where in my archives it would be. If someone went looking for it and took the time to find it, I'd probably be afraid of the time they spent searching!

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  31. Brad Pitt
    Will Smith
    Matt Damon
    Keira Knightley
    Gina Gershon

    Now that I think about it, it's been the same for at least five years.

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  32. I have never heard of the "list of five" (people you want to have sex with), so I Googled it, and this was in an episode of "Friends" too! You have women on your list? Wow, I totally lack the bisexuality gene. Can you include guys you know in real life, or does it have to be famous people? I don't to have sex with any famous people.

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  33. Ok, for the record, I don't have a list of 5 and had never heard of it until just now.

    Freakin' MDOD has taught me more this year than the U has (don't even say anything about that erdoc85) Haha.

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  34. Hmm Jessica Beal,Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Lange, and Sarah Jessica Parker.

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  35. Since monkeygirl listed her entire list, here's mine:

    1. Judd Nelson
    2. Will Friedle
    3 Barry Watson
    4. Jim Belushi
    5. Neve Campbell/Kate Hudson

    And once again I ask where the heck erdoc85 has been lately. Do you have him tied up somewhere?

    Devorrah-I don't know about including people you know in real life...that might get dicey depending on whether you are married or not. My husband named one of my friends not too long ago, and let's just say he's lucky I am pretty secure with myself because otherwise he could have been in some serious trouble. He's also lucky that he chose the friend of mine that is the most like me, and named that as the reason he picked her. Her ginormous boobs may not have hurt her chances of him picking her either, but I'm going to pretend it was her stunning personality that he wanted.

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  36. 911: Wow, I see what you mean about women having a flexible sexuality. I had no idea. I can't imagine any of you guys having a man on your list, unless it was a transsexual named Jesse/Jessica (Frank).

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  37. Okay, lemme think:
    1) George Clooney--why do we need 4 more?
    2) Johnny Depp
    3) James Spader (love his attorney character in Boston Legal)
    4) Rufus Sewell
    5) Sean Connery circa 1970

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  38. a wise man once said, "there are two kinds of women... women that like having sex with women, and women that don't know that they like having sex with women."

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  39. Quote of the week: "mappelthorp was not edgy enough for me."
    -- 911doc


    I have no women on my list. I never have, and I don't think I ever will.

    At the moment, I have no men on my list, either. If I was forced at gunpoint to make a list, I might put Joshua Bell on it, but if he came to the door, I'd still decline.

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  40. I am an L&D nurse. I KNOW I don't want to have sex with that!

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  41. Blast!! The Israeli porn won't play on my DVD player. Seems Israel DVDs are "Region 2" and the US is "Region 1". I guess theres a big black market of guys sneaking stuff back from the middle east. 2 choices, get expensive multi-region DVD player, or move to Middle East full time.

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  42. Hey Frank, I reckon Jessica Rabbit is hotter than Sarah Jessica Parker.

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