Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Little Boy We All Know and Hate

Enuff bashing the lawyers, insurance and shit..Something fun.

OK, I've wanted to post this for a long time. Some of you are going to hate me(BFD!)and the docs, nurses and EMT's are going to LOVE IT..

I (and each and every one of you) have wished for this opportunity all of my career.

Grandma brings in Jr, about 10 yrs old, by 911!! for a PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION because he's threatening her and she's scared of him. We all know this story..
The difference is Grandma(mom's a crack ho') seems like a very nice woman who just is at wits end with this little POS and Jr is well groomed, no tats, no ear ring, belt on his pants, no crooked ball cap. And he's clearly just being a BRAT. We have a little conversation and Jr decides to try and bite me..
Grandma says she can go get his Uncle(where's Dad?) who he, Jr, relates too..I say by all means please go get Uncle to help me with this complex medical case.

Granda leaves and I grab both of Jr's arms and put them over his head, put my hand over his mouth so my eardrums stay intact and tactifully tell him if he doesn't shut up I will turn him over my knee and BUST HIS ASS ALL UP! And if he tries to bite me or anyone else I will FHU! I have his address and know where he lives and if Grandma ever calls 911 again because he's being a brat, I will return and he will never live to repeat the 5th grade..

God, it felt good. Jr quiets down very quickly, Grandma and Uncle "Joe" come back in and I tell them Jr and I have reached an understanding. If he ever causes Grandma trouble again, I give her my card and tell her to call me. And Jr is right there, and, of course sees this.
I leave.

And as they are walking out, Grandma says thank you. She asks Jr what he has to say and the little dude comes over and gives me a HUG! It may have been better than a thoracotomy surviving!

Go ahead and call CPS, you liberal MF's, I don't care. Maybe there's one less gang banger in the making and I sure saved a hell of a lot of $$$$..


  1. Good for you!

    It's so refreshing to see someone who is willing to remind a child that he is a child and that his behavior is simply unacceptable.

    I applaud you!

  2. Unbelievable. I teach English to the "English Language Learners" in the afternoons, and the third graders were reading parts in a play. Rubidia and Zahraa both wanted to be Slewfoot Sue, so I told them they could take turns, Rubidia taking the first turn. The next day Zahraa's Mom showed up at my door at 7:30 am, saying that her daughter really wanted that part, and she's so disappointed. Also, Mom can't get her to do her homework--could I talk to her? I told Zahraa she should be ashamed of herself, but this is nothing new. I know parents whose kids are tardy every day because "he just won't get up" or "he's just so slow". Where has all the parenting gone, and why are all these grown-ups scared of their kids?

  3. Hurray! That must have felt AWESOME! Plus, that is just what the kid needed.

  4. Rad Girl, you know we love you, but Ericka may become a "special friend" of mine..
    And Dev..Don't take offense, but you are either one foxy B or a sexually confused pysco who is teasing us to death! And we love it!

  5. OldFart: Who me? 911 knows I'm a real person, and even Etotheipi has a wholesome photo of me with my Kermit puppet.

  6. I'm not even slightly sexually confused, actually, I have a date in an hour with #3 (See "Devorrah is Busy" on Frank's blog). Have a nice evening!

  7. Dev, just checking..You rock. Get "busy" tonight Darlin'

    Lynn, my dear, I did not leave you out on purpose.
    All of us are MCPigs and we all expect that you KNOW we love you without having to say it (in between beers)..

  8. Oi Oldfart:

    Not all of us evil bleeding heart Liberals disagree with you. I'm as lefty as they get but parents need to be parents, and I just wish Grandma had learned that sooner.

    And maybe there would have been one fewer crack ho out there.

  9. wow, i felt good just reading the post. i hope that little shit has a deeply imprinted memory of that visit. maybe grandma will get a "yes ma'am" every now and then.


  10. Well, to be fair, I was once hospitalized with a kid who, in all seven years of his life, had killed the family parakeet and then the family dog. The kicker was when he finally managed to successfully burn down his family's home -- killing his younger sister in the process.

  11. I bet he won't be a frequent flier at an ER ever. Maybe all grandma will have to do is threaten to take him back.

    What ever happened to consequences? I swear I almost throw my back out every day dragging my kids to time out. And an occasional swat doesn't hurt anyone either.

    Rock on. Oldfart, you are a shining example for parents everywhere.

  12. Dammit, Oldfart, you bring a tear to me eye...


    Major props, sir!

  14. Thanks Oldfart: I did (like I need any encouragement)

  15. I have always believed that a smack or good telling did no harm. We always got a good hiding for doing something wrong and it did us no harm and we still love mum and dad, because we know it was in our best interest to either protect us from danger or learn to have manners.

  16. I agree the kid probably needed that. Kids need boundries and he reached the end. Good job!

  17. I think scaring the shit out of a 10 year-old a-hole should be on the JCAHO check list.

  18. Devorrah:
    Thanks for the picture. Now I have something to look at while I 'use' the Kermit puppet. ;)

  19. Oldfart, I may be a liberal MF but I still believe in good parenting. Good Job!

  20. You shoulda let the Uncle in on this parenting tip, when Jr. tries this crap again, Uncle might have saved you the trouble... It usually takes a couple of reinforcing situations to get the point across completely.

  21. I like to call this technique in child rearing "breaking the yearling". Every kid needs it done at some point. The earlier, the better.

    Great post.

  22. I think the fact that you're Andre the Giant's size makes this all the more satisfying. You are like 7'6", aren't you?

    Anybody want a peanut?

  23. So here is a story of why I am proud of my parenting and my daughter.

    She is 10, 4th grade. She is an awesome student, never forgets her books at school until today. Seriously, it is the first time it has ever happened. When she realized she had forgotten her spelling book, she looked through the shool directory and started calling around to find someone that she could borrow it from so she could do her work. Never once did she ask me for help because it is her problem and she knows it. She knows all about personal responsibility and wouldn't even think to whine that I should fix it for her. Don't you wish some of your patients were like her?

  24. And also, am I really so easily replaced?

  25. OMG, that was so awesome! Do you know how many times I've said that what kids need today is some degree of discipline? I saw many of them at my former job who could have used a good ass-whuppin (or even just the threat of it)...but too many parents let the child have control. Nice to see an adult wrest back some of that control once in a while!

  26. Good job, Radgirl, can you come to my house and take over? True story: I finally gave up and bought a house across from the junior high school because to make my life easier.

  27. Ruby, U got it backwards, I'm

    Rad Girl U are NOT replaceable and your baby is clearly "modeling" her behavior..

    Dev, uhh..What Eto said!

    Lynn, you know I've got a snicker for you, Girl :-)

    For the rest of you, I am truly proud of you! I thought I would be inundated with shit like "You bully" "How dare you touch that child he just needed a time out" "He's just mis-understood", etc..

    Maybe there is some hope for civilization..

  28. Etotheipi: You're very welcome. Puppetry is a unappreciated and dying art, except apparently in basement pathology labs somewhere in Deliverance country. And congrats for always making me say that stupid fucking thing in my head about i before e..., then trying to remember to do the opposite.

  29. social work intern7:22 PM, May 21, 2008

    True story:

    Classmate interned at child protective service. Evil five year old girl, Debbie Peel, has been kicked out of seven preschools. All CPS workers hate the child. Parents brought up on bullshit charges.
    CPS workers want to give this child a spanking (very hard). Fucking ironic!!!! haha

    Some kids are animals.

    This case was brought to treatment meeting. Everyone aggreed that father should get "Scip" trained-(strategic crisis intervention and prevention). Or any other "official" means to take the kid down.

    That would be one hell of a time out.

  30. mottsapplesauce7:33 PM, May 21, 2008

    Oldfart, you are a dying breed you know that? Can you be cloned? I believe there's too many parents out there who weren't meant to be parents. Kudos to you for having the balls to set that kid straight!

  31. Now that is the delivery of quality health care. Awesome.

  32. I did something similar to one of my daughter's peers in her 1st grade (!!) class after witnessing this little feral looking the teacher in the face and yelling "F*** you, B***h!"

    She later commented "I don't know what you said to him, but..."

    (smile) and ... honestly, ... you don't WANT to know... (smile).

    8 years later, he still goes out of his way to talk to me, for the first ~5 he'd hug me every time he saw me.

    Poor, fatherless waif with a stereotype ghetto mother, just mimicing her behavior...

    Needed a MAN to tell him where the lines were drawn...


  33. O.M.G. I needed to hear this today. I'm in a martial arts class with a little worthless lard grub who, even after three months of training, still can't stand up straight or do a jumping jack and whines and giggles incessantly. I assure you he is suffering from mental disability, he is just worthless. I am not at all in approval of child abuse, but I have such a hard time resisting the urge to beat some sense into this one.

    I am living vicariously through you this afternoon, good show.

  34. Oldfart, I want to bear your children.

  35. Tough love... Sanctioned in only those with common sense and needs liberal application to our 'customers' in ER settings.