Saturday, August 02, 2008

Omgwtf

Just a brief post. I am writing to confess that I spent 30 minutes of my life (the show was an hour but I had to turn away) watching a show on Discovery about several women who gave birth on the kitchen floor, bath, etc.., supposedly NEVER knowing they were pregnant. In one scene they brought the baby in and the mom said "Oh my God, that was what was causing my pain. " I don't even know what to say about this. If I normally bleed from my butt hole every 28 days, then suddenly don't, and feel like I have a 6-8 lb turd in my rectal vault, I would suspect that something is wrong.

CAT

44 comments:

  1. I once knew a woman who menstruated until she was 6 months along. That's how her 4th child caught her by surprise. But to get to the point of delivery without knowing that you're pregnant seems ridiculous to me. How do you not feel the child in you? Babies move and kick, what do they think that is?

    ReplyDelete
  2. jamie,
    the technical term for the woman who had bleeding while pregnant is 'threatened miscarriage'... she probably had a sub-chorionic hemorrhage.

    'cat,
    i bleed from my ass every 28 days. what does it mean?

    ReplyDelete
  3. 911, you that because of the previous, and soon to be, previous, positions where you worked and people you worked for...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Babies move and kick, what do they think that is?
    Bad tamales?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Umm....Cat...I know you've been to medical school and all, and are probably vastly more experienced than myself in this area and all,

    ...but it's not the butthole.

    Hey, I'm just saying ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, and had to add, it is physically impossible to menstruate while pregnant. I don't know how people don't understand this, but bleeding while pregnant is not the breakup of the endometrial lining. It.Just.Can't.Happen.

    For anyone interested, I updated my blogs. I'm back to blogging again after an extended holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  7. okay amy,

    point taken, as beavis would say, "i need TP for my bunghole".

    oldfart, that was not a question that i expected a sensible answer to, but it turns out that your answer is correct. at least they paid me a bit of money. they never kissed me though... never.

    ReplyDelete
  8. One more thing, then I promise I'll shut up. I have heard not feeling a pregnancy is more common in the morbidly obese. You just can't feel through all that blubber. And correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it not that uncommon for really obese people to be really irregular in their cycles?

    And on the topic of morbid obesity which I'm not, I lost 5 lbs in the last 2 days. I have no clue why, but it makes me happy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. amy,
    i don't know what the research says but this is intuitive. i once diagnosed a 350 pound woman's belly pain by abdominal Xray (labs were rejected). saw this tiny skeleton upside down in her abdomen. 'uh, ma'am...". she was 34 weeks and not short on twinkies.

    ReplyDelete
  10. amy,
    re your weight loss... do i sense our first 'poopstrong' testimonial?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice, you sound like my husband.

    If I ever went to use the bathroom when we were around friends or family, he'd always ask me "how the paperwork went" to embarrass me.

    Ummm...not really with the poopstrong. I just quit eating so much. I thought I'd take to heart my previous comments about how we eat too much because we can. I don't have to eat so much, I just love food so much.

    But, hey, I've got to get myself in shape if I'm ever going to pretend hotness right? I did take my BMI today and it's 22.55. Score!!! At least that's what my Wii fit told me.


    Here's a real question though. When I start exercising regularly (something I hate) I get ravenously hungry. Is there anything I can do about that? I hate to feel hungry, it's so distracting. I assmue it's normal due to increases in metabolism. Maybe I've got a high metabolism? I used to eat 2000 calories just for lunch when I was in high school and busy. And I ate 4 full meals a day. I was only about 120 lbs.

    So how do I tame the starvation pangs? Protein and veggies? (Of course only pretend doctors with pretend non-advice please reply to protect yourself from liability.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am jealous that anyone could get through pregnancy and not feel it. Mine were not horrible pregnancies, but I definitely had symptoms...heart burn that made me feel like I might breathe fire, pressure/jumping on my ribs and bladder with the twins, etc. I was always extremely irregular but I doubt I could have gone that long and not realize something was up!

    I feel you on the time waste of watching the show. I watched "Denise Richards: It's Complicated" the other day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Huh. Well, I've heard that [usually coked up] teen girls are likely to not realize a pregnancy until it's pretty late in the game. And a lot of younger women tend to not track their menstrual cycles...or they're just irregular in general. I know someone who gets hers twice a year. Every man's dream. (Though I'm sure it's...not healthy.)

    Boy I wish I had something clever to say. Maybe something about Juno would've been good. Dang it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. amy,

    after working out drink two glasses of cold water. may help.

    polio is reemerging in third world countries... not a strech to imagine it happening here to the unvaccinated. just a matter of time.

    ReplyDelete
  15. whitecap nurse says:

    Amy, I have to disagree with you - you certainly can bleed while pregnant. I know one woman who had bleeding like periods until she was 6 months pregnant (and delivered @ 8 mos.). Also, it is common to bleed after sex or physical exams. So, it may not technically be menstruation, it is hard to differentiate sometimes. Also, denial is such a powerful thing ...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I never got how people could just not notice that something was different for the last 9 months, until I worked with a "slightly" over weight RT who went to the ED for abd pain and came home with a baby. Wish I was making it up.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I used the butt hole as an ANALogy (get it) because I don't have a uterus.

    CAT

    ReplyDelete
  18. amy --

    very cold water, yes. Also try bulking up on veggies for a quick-fix for hunger pains. Protein works more in the long term. Like, eat a lot of protein for breakfast and you'll probably not be terribly hungry for dinner. Caffeine is also a good appetite suppressant.

    /yeah, you're taking tips from an anorexic :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. CAT *snort* Yes I get it.

    911, you're totally right about the reemergence of polio. I'm sure it is just a matter of time since my whole generation has not been vaccinated, and there's a resurgence. It's scary. Let's just hope they can come up with a vaccine that doesn't require 500 needles. They still do the oral for kids right?

    ReplyDelete
  20. No, they haven't done the oral vaccine since the late 90's. The live-virus vaccine has fallen out of favor. It tends to have more complications. With the Salk vaccine, it averages to about 10 vaccine-related polio cases a year.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I ran this semi retarded woman from a group home yesterday. She had a complaint of, 1. lonliness. 911 hot call for sho! 2. Nausea in the morning. 3. vomiting. 4. abdominal cramping.

    I said, "Perchance would someone as clever as yourself be in a position to get a little pipe laid yonder, in your bits and pieces?"

    Sometimes she said.

    "Well then, considering your fondness for the male residents, how likely is it that you're pregnant?"

    None at all.

    "Curious! Do tell, when was the last menstural period?"

    4 months ago.

    "Is that normal for you? This 4 month gap?"

    No, not at all.

    "But you make the claim you are not With Child. How can this be?"

    I just know I'm not pregnant. Can I get something to eat?

    "No."

    \\
    Soon, I hope to see her on the show.

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's more than a little ridiculous. I remember watching one of those Discovery ER shows and this 15 year old girl comes in *obviously* pregnant.

    "Mah stomach hurts mah stomach hurts!"

    "You hafta help my baby! She's in paaaain!"

    "Ma'am, your daughter's pregnant. 37 weeks pregnant, actually."

    "That's a lieeee! I know my baby ain't pregnant! There's no way!"

    "Ma'am, is there a possibility you could be in denial about this?"

    "NO."

    I love people.

    ReplyDelete
  23. "I'm not having a babbbbby!!!" -Lady that is crowning as we pull up to the ED entrance.

    Rule number 2 of my ambulance, don't freaking have a baby in the ambulance.

    It's only been broken once.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This comment thread reminds me of a memorable CAT post about a very obese woman who was able to get pregnant, or least have sex, because she had cousins hold apart her massive thighs. Lucky Dr. CAT got to do the pelvic.
    Congrats Amy, and can we all agree never to be that woman, and never to be a thigh-holding enabler?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dev: Which post was that?

    ReplyDelete
  26. EE: Shoot,I can't remember and I'm on the road. 911? CAT?

    ReplyDelete
  27. How come every time I watch a new episode of South Park I wonder if the MDOD guys have seen it?

    Or... perhaps they wrote it??

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ok got one for you. I NEVER believed a woman could not know she was pregnant till this year when it happened to my pcp, A DOCTOR. She explained to me that she had virtually no symptoms. She is overweight, but I would not say morbidly obese. Anyway, her periods were every 3-6 months (lucky duck). She and her dh had tried for several years and it didn't happen for them. So they gave up on the idea that it would happen. She started gaining weight and thought, well I am getting older (She is 42). Then she noticed she had bad heartburn, but she has acid reflux and thought it was flaring up.

    One day at the end of February, she started feeling a flutter and she thought it was gas. On a lark, she drew some blood and ran a pregnancy panel. POSITIVE. She says she cried and was devestated. I asked her about movement and she said flutters but never any strong kicks or anything (even right before she delivered). She didn't look pregnant till 36 weeks. So she called my ob devestated and crying. He had her come over at lunch. Calmed her down. Did all the ob stuff and determined she was 28 weeks! She was quite the talk of the hospital for awhile. She had her baby 2 1/2 months after she found out.

    My pcp is not a quack. She is usually spot on in her diagnoses and meds and stuff. I love her to death. My girls love her too (she's family practice). So if it can happen to a dr, it can happen to anyone.

    As for me, I still had a hard time believing till I got pregnant with this one. I have lost 5lbs since the beginning of pregnancy (not trying to lose just happened). I have not had one second of nausea or puking from pregnancy. All I have had is a changing shape (despite weight loss), loss of period, and heartburn. Oh and I am tired but I work a lot. With my girls, I puked constantly and was so sick. Not this time. So it can happen. Although I do believe in a lot of women, they are just plain in DENIAL.

    ReplyDelete
  29. "Congrats Amy, and can we all agree never to be that woman, and never to be a thigh-holding enabler?"

    Amen.

    Ok, we've all heard the urban legend about the "infertile" couple that had friends come over to heave the pannus out of the way so they could copulate right?

    Maybe it's not such a legend. Maybe it's true. Anyway, it's not everyday that you get to use the word "copulate" in conversation.

    My work here is done.

    ReplyDelete
  30. how many cousins did it require?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Two as I recall-one for each "leg" Aaaccckkkk.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yeah, it was two. There were 4 people in the room whilst they were consumating their love, and it wasn't even a good porno. (like me, Carmen Electra, A young Brooke Shields, and Bea Arthur)

    CAT

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm pretty sure I watched that same show, your post is spot on hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  34. well !
    If someone bled from their 'butt hole' every month, they should be more concerned about hemarroids..LOL
    On a serious note though, someone actually not realizing that they just gave birth and be still surprized till even after they bring the baby in,Now, that is absolutely worth, OMFG.
    hmmmmmmm...
    I guess some women are so obese and quite used to ignoring symptoms and signs including fullness and quickening, and also sometimes people have no medical insurance, they they go without doing something about anything they might suspect.Whao...seriously.sad !

    ReplyDelete
  35. hey! u are good man!
    and crazy hillarious!

    but i def. agree wid amy it aint the butthole doc!

    anywayz actually i wish i could see that prog.hard to digest they're talkin about full term babies!

    ReplyDelete
  36. ahaha I heard about this. Really i can think of no distraction that can cause any woman to not notice that she is getting fatter, craving cheese covered grapes and puking.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Now, not knowing you're pregnant I can believe but NOT a cycle of only 28 days.

    I always thought that was a myth they told us in sex ed class! I've always been 17-21 days (and, please god, stop it now, ok? thanks!)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Somehow, I get the point of this but I just don't like your analogies, doc. I hope you aren't my Physician.

    There are plenty of people in denial about alot of things. Is it any surprise really, that a woman may be in denial about bringing another human into this world?
    I work at a State Mental Facility. I see all kinds of this mental aberration going on...sometimes staff more than patients like the Physician who prescribed an eye medication to a hypochondriac patient whose red eye makeup could be wiped off by a tissue.

    ReplyDelete
  39. so sorry kelly :)

    good luck in the mental facility. we hope we aren't your doctors too!
    have a cheery day full of bliss.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I really don't understand what is so hard to understand about a woman not knowing that she was pg.
    When I had my daughter I was well within my weight class and I barely felt her move all that often and I was well aware that I was pg with her.
    Now 12 years later and much much much more weight. I haven't had a period without being drug induced in 12 years so I don't bleed out of my butt every 28 days and with all the weight gain there is not a possibility that I would feel the movement.
    Also with my previous pregnancy I did not have one lick of nausea or vomiting and my boobs weren't sore either. Matter of fact I really didn't have any other signs of pregnancy, I took a test back then because my periods had "changed". They had become "lighter" which I now realize was probably implantation spotting. But it was unusual for me to spot like that. I was unusually tired but other than that I had no other symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
  42. excuse me anonymous,
    but aren't you saying that even though your symptoms were not dramatic, that you knew that you were pregnant?

    ReplyDelete

ALL SPAM AND GRATUITOUS LINK POSTINGS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DELETED.