Friday, May 22, 2009

Part III. Enter the Cat

Name S. Cat, esquire. Specialty-Emergency Medicine. Cancer.

1. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist or Democratic Party?

Is that a trick question, I mean aren't they the same? Seriously, no. Even when I was poor, which was most of my life, I knew that my dad never got a job from a poor man, equality of opportunity was NOT the same as equality of outcome, and it takes 3 gov't employees to polish a turd and 10 more to form a committee to decide that yes, it's still a turd. While others were listening to Barry White, I was listening to Barry Goldwater (and Barry White).

2. Aside from scoring tons of chicks (or dudes if you are into that), why did you go into medicine?
I am still not sure to this day. I was accepted to Dental School as well and could be slappin' on braces right now.

3. If you had a magic wand, what would you change in medicine (and NO, you can't use it on your own penis / vagina)?
I would open an instant wand-healing clinic and make a fortune.

4. Summarize the meaning of life in Haiku form.

Since he was so short
How did he see the plane first?
Hervé Villechaize

5. Name one book, one movie and one piece of art you would immortalize and one of each that you would destroy permanently.
Immortalize-Atlas Shrugged, Patton, and La Primavera.

Destroy-Any Deepak Chopra self anal-ization book, Eraserhead, that elephant dung Virgin Mary thing

6. If you lost your job tomorrow and could not get any job related to medicine, what would you do? Real Estate development and professional Powerball player

.7. If you could, one time only, travel back in time, would you do it and what choices would you make differently? If "yes", then, are you insane? Have you SEEN "The Butterfly Effect" with Aston Kutcher?

Yes. I would sneak aboard Apollo 11 just so I could end any conversation with, "Yeah, that's great and everything, but do you see the moon up there. I've been there."

8. Do you play and instrument? Are you good? (Answering: "Yes, the skin flute, and I'm great!", is not acceptable).

Saxophone. Used to blow real good but now I suck.

9. What is the biggest mistake you have made professionally?

Not doing Rad residency, and AAA sent home to return ruptured same day (surgeons didn't want to operate, so partially their fault)

10. How would you kill yourself if you were forced to move to France?

I would injure myself downtown Paris and let the paramedics do the rest.

11. Worst part of your job? Working nights.
Best part? Thankful Patients (I had one back in 02)

12. How certain are you that God does / does not exist? Give percentages.
100/0. If the Universe is expanding it had to start. There had to be a beginning and I believe a creator, or "God Particle" and some would call it. Until Al Gore or Chris Matthews shows me what happened before then, this is what I believe.


  1. Love the haiku! Why didn't I think of that?

  2. Cat:
    Amazing - Primavera was my second choice... kick ass

    Also, for the uninitiated, you have just witnessed the output of the Grand Poobah of Haiku.

  3. Are you guys in some kind of time warp? This post says it was posted on Friday May 22. That is tomorrow. So this post comes from the future?

  4. 10. How would you kill yourself if you were forced to move to France?

    I would injure myself downtown Paris and let the paramedics do the rest.
    Best response ever...made me laugh out loud. You could also do this in downtown Tokyo.

  5. Radioactive Girl,
    its May 22d in Austrailia...

  6. And I'm not resentful at all that I haven't been asked to contribute as "The 9th MDOD Blogger" or even asked to make a guest appearance like Barney Fife did on the Andy Griffith Show... Not at all...

    I'd have sex with Scarlett Johansen, but not tell my wife till I'm 114 and on my death bed, and its just theoretical anyway, since skynet's gonna terminate everyone over the age of 68 by the time I get that old...

  7. rad girl

    I am from the future. I slipped up and forget to put yesterday (today for you mortals) on the post. Don't be afraid. I am not here to harm you.

  8. Thats just what a killer Terminator robot from the future would say...
    I'd stay away from your normal hangin out spots Rad Girl, the T-4000 will definately try to aquire you there...

  9. You're not blue and glowing are you cat?

  10. Tomorrow's date is because he already is in France, working on his plan.

  11. Cat:
    Yeah, I'm still sad about Diana, too.

  12. Haiku, I don't read
    They are generally lame
    Now I've read the best