Thursday, October 01, 2009

The MDOD Douchebag of the Month

Well, he says he's mad as hell but as it turns out in actually listening to his paid-for drivel he's only slightly disgruntled... So that's where I'll start. Right off the cuff he's either a bad actor or a liar or both.

Then the list grows really long. This ER doc out in the mossy green woods of the northwest has taken it upon himself to speak for the entirety of the Emergency Medicine community in much the same way that Pee-Wee Herman spoke for all actors when he was arrested in that movie theater. Hey, Doc, I'm sure that in your Portland Free Thinkers meetings everyone believes you are all that and a bag of chips but the Emperor has no clothes Doc, and you, sir, are the Emperor.

If you tried to watch this puff piece on bought and paid for MSNBC, but found yourself running to the toilet to toss up your lunch then let me tell you the highlights.

This self-important Douche and some of his like-minded herbalists one day just up and decided to drive a bus to DC to protest the craziness, NOT of Obamacare, NOT of free stuff for everyone absent consequences, but of NOT passing a bill which will nationalize 1/6th of the economy, create a giant new class of bureaucratic gentry, and hamstring both physicians and patients in ways only dreamed of by the Marquis de Sade. The conversation here will show that I am not a lone voice on this one, which makes Dr. Douche's pirating of our position even more maddening (and careful of piling-on for one Dr. Hinson seems to have the power of ultimate salvation and damnation right at the tip of his fingers and he WILL send you to the hot place).

I'm sure the most difficult thing Dr. Douche will deal with on his trip is finding fuel grade biodiesel and veggie burgers in Montana... In fact, when you drive through Montana I'd lay low on the signage and the Obama worship Doc... Farmers and Cowboys live out there and they would, with just a whiff of your caravan of stupidity, probably loose a few rounds from their 30.0.6 s in your general direction while 'varmint huntin'. Nobody around for a hundred miles you know and that wind swallows up sound.

But really all of this is just surface level dislike for this woodsy-hippie-douchebag, the real stupidity comes when he opens his mouth and opines that the best way to solve all our ills in medicine is to OUTLAW INSURANCE COMPANIES. Now when he says this he is upset that the insurance companies make a profit. So, to take this to it's logical conclusion, he WANTS the government to take this over AND WANTS THEM TO LOSE MONEY. Well sunshine this is just super and has been tried a few times before in countries that generally had to be rescued by the 101st Airborne or the 1st MEU, but lets be clear... what you are arguing FOR is failure... failure of the monstrous and impersonal government to cover expenses while stepping in for the private sector. You are therefore arguing for higher taxes and perpetual cost increases just like with the post office and the DMV. You are a douche on many, many levels, and not a scented one either.

You had me at hello Dr. Pumpernickle, but when you tell us that Obama is a victim... a victim in all this! Well then you travel to the other side of the moon and take your proud place with the Nostradamus and Da Vinci Code crowd. Hint, hint... It's the remnant of the Knights Templars in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan (and the Bilderbergers) who are victimizing Obama, and turning public opinion against his plan (and for all of you out there who are in the know, the sparrow flies at midnight, repeat, the sparrow flies at midnight).

He then runs through the Holy Grail (nice extension of theme eh?) of cuckoo-bird hippie freak liberal conspiracy theory by mentioning his belief that drug companies are mercenary as they cure disease because they turn a profit, that he prefers FASCISM to private enterprise (because he believes that the state should control private business), that profits are bad, that he and his ilk are completely qualified to say how much profit is okay and how much is too much, that we have a 'moral imperative' for 'universal access' (which we have now) though I will bet my sweet aunt sally that he doesn't even understand what he means because to believe in morals indicates a belief in a true right and wrong and he's a relativist or I'm a monkey's uncle.

Enough. I have to go throw up again. But understand folks, that my douchebag academic college, ACEP, has stepped in its own vaginal secretions yet again by bringing in, as it's keynote speaker at our national convention, Paul Begala, fluffer-footman to the left, annoying and, until last year, irrelevant, angry man. A political hack at our national convention telling us what we have to do. Screw you ACEP. Screw you Dr. Pumpernickle, for you are a complete and total douchebag. And obtw, be sure to look up Dr. Deborah Peel whilst in Washington as you two have a lot in common extending, perhaps, to your taste for wine spritzers.

Addendum: Thanks to Lofty for this unsurprising surprise. I am the great and powerful OZ!


  1. Feel the Burn!!! 2-4-6-8 Who's the Doc who expresses Our Hate??? 9-11 Yay!!!!.....
    Great Rant 9-11, but you left out how this guy looks like a Mom's Pubis with Ears...
    Did a little Stalking, I mean the Oregon Medical Board Website, looks like Dr. Hochfeld only did an Internship in Charleston South Carolina back in 1979...might explain why he's ridin a bus in Tennesee instead of quackin away in Oregon.
    And don't you hate docs who wear scrubs outside the OR?? I gar-an-tee Dr. Pubic Option's wearin Crocs on his light little feet...
    Of course I could be wrong, and Dr. Vagina Monologue is fully board certified by whoever certifies ER docs, fact he hasn't updated his info with the Board doesn't speak well of his documentation skills...
    And maybe Karma will get off her ass and bring Dr. Pussy Boots into MY ER on his return trip to Queer Nation... I gotta 50 French Foley with his name on it...
    Enough hate for now, gotta save some discontent for later,,

    Frank, "Crocs Delenda Est" Drackman...

  2. Frank,
    You are a beautiful, sick, twisted human.

  3. Well said, my good man. My parents were poor and purchased health insurance for a family of nine. No Blackberry, new cars, etc. But they knew what was important. Health care is a commodity, as much as some don't want to believe it. Aside from ER's (which I will be leaving soon) with EMTALA, no one has to provide you with care, period. A service is offered, provided, and money changes hands, albeit through a third party unless you are paying cash. The third party thing worked even better before MCaid and MCare skewed and screwed with free market forces. Yes, insurers make a profit, but they also provide a service, taking pools of individuals, assesing risk, and making agreements with providers to provide a service to their clients, usually at a reduced cost than what it would cost the individual to purchase the product or service outright, especially if they had a serious illness. Same thing for auto, life, home, etc. Why is this such a difficult concept? What makes it difficult is the lefts bastardization of what makes a right. Nowhere in the enumerated powers of the Constitution is "health care" mentioned. Neither are IPhones, bread, milk, houses, Lexuses (Lexi?) or double-dong dildos, and most of us couldn't "live" without them. If it comes to being "forced" to have my clinic filled with people who demand my skills by showing a "card" they got from Nasty Pelosi (see, most ERs on any given day are filled with folks only too happy to show their gov't "card" for the 4th time in 2 weeks, and thanks to the unfunded mandate of EMTALA, they have to be seen) I'll chose the cash only route. Botox, laser tatoo removal, collegen fillers. You get the picture. My clinic address if you need my services will be:

    1234 Shoveitupyourass Lane
    Galt's Gulch, CO 84457

  4. Am I the only one who isn't surprised to see a propaganda bit like Dr.Douche's? This is what the left always does. They use the MSM to spread propaganda and lies to convince us that this guy is a representative of the whole when in reality he's just the lunatic fringe. Thanks to you 911, and other's like you we know the truth.

    Do you ever feel like a lonely voice crying in the wilderness?

  5. amy,
    i used to feel like a lone voice but i do not anymore and that's why i am hopeful. within a few minutes of this going up on ep monthly's site there was a barrage of comments against it from folks who normaly don't speak up. we are not a minority but we have been cowed into believing that we are. i think, as a group, conservatives are figuring this out and with obama stepping on his teency dick every day we are gaining confidence. of course there's one other thing... folks like dr douche do not realize that there is a point past which we will not be pushed and past which we will fight, and he and his ilk are cowards.

  6. Hey 9-11, can you really be boarded in EM with just an Internship??? I sometimes get the Fisheye cause I'm NOT boarded despite 3 different residencies...
    Inquiring minds want to know...


  7. frank,
    yup, you can, IF you happen to have been lucky enough to hit the grandfather exception before they closed it in the mid or early nineties. in fact, here's another clown who did just that who remains dear in my heart.

  8. 911 Doc - That was a cathartic rant, even for the reader! I'm sharing that one.

  9. Wouldn't it be great if this picture were the result of defeat of The One' medical debacle instead of Chicago losing the Olympics?

  10. Frank,

    you had some time to kill eh, with three residencies ;)

  11. Amy (and 911) this is a bit off topic, but the strategy is, and always has been to keep normal people screaming in the wilderness. They overwhelm, regardless of area.

    In my area of expertise, all public focus is on Waxman-Markey/Cap and Trade, or it's doppelganger, Kerry-Boxer. That, combined with thousands of little fights against every attempt to access our own energy resources. What's being done behind the scenes, while everybody is preoccupied? The EPA is proposing a rule, no legislation required, for limiting and permitting greenhouse gases. They have a Supreme Court ruling that CO2 may be considered a pollutant; but they're going even beyond that, to greenhouse gases. That means any entity that emits CO2, or any other greenhouse gas is gonna need to buy a permit. Whammo! Get distracted by the left hand, the right hand hands all Americans that purchase anything or turn on their lights a new bill. Oh, and the 'greenhouse gas' with the greatest 'impact'; well that is and always has been water vapor.

    They don't care about sensible, or fair, or anything that approaches normal behavior. They will hit you, all day, every day, becuase they have an agenda and never, ever, have to accomplish anything. They worship the accomplishment of nothing; it is their goal and their God.

    I am aware of their strategy of "Death By A Thousand Cuts," attacking everywhere, to keep the opposition off-balance. That's why it pleases me to stop by here, now and then, to just spend a few minutes amongst the sane with good humor. They can't defeat all of us, at the same time; they can only attempt to wear us down and divide us. E Pluribus Unum.

  12. *applause* WTG CJrun. I can't see too much of the green bs without wanting to scream. It just bugs the hell out of me because there's no scientific basis to it. Just a bunch of ball scratching and manipulating data. I hate the green movement.

  13. Amy, you say "Ball Scratching" like that's a bad thing... Only reason women don't scratch their Ovaries is they can't get to em' easily.
    and Cjrun..."any entity that emits CO2"?? you mean like Humans?, at the tune of some 15L/Hr give or take how many Oprah Units you weigh... For example...Ted Kennedy's saved the Ozone 15,000 Liters already, got aways to go to catch up with Mary Jo Kopechne though...


  14. Naw, really, ovaries just don't itch.

  15. Frank: Oprah Units? Bwahahahaha!

  16. Am I the only one who is bothered by Dagny hopping to each man that she thought was the most powerful? I think Ayn Rand's ideas about love are stupid. Objective maybe but dumb and unhealthy. She's got that capitalism thing pretty down though...

  17. A shame that not one of you has added anything useful to the discussion. If you don't like the look of the doctor, that his presentation is not "angry" enough, that he comes from Oregon, or the size (speculative, I certainly hope) of the president's pecker, you haven't done anything except waste the time of anyone who reads this.

  18. nice try jr douchebag,
    you may refer to the previous 600+ plus posts to see what we have added to the discussion.

  19. Good grief, this is not the scariest blog I have ever seen, but it is the scariest blog I have ever seen given that you are supposedly interacting with the public on a daily basis in a position of authority. The previous 600+ posts don't add much to any serious discussion, either, honestly, I have to say. It's like Glenn Beck, M.D.(*Barbados) in here. Seriously, you went to school for 20 years + residency to yell "soshulism" and "obamascare" and put apostrophes in the possessive of its and scare quotes? What a waste of money, I know tons of middle school dropouts who can do that. And do you think this guy you're attacking (ad hominem, not on substance) is the same guy who linked to your Cheetos test, thus leading me here? (BTW, this is not the real Cheetos test, as cheeto-stained fingers = wingnut, but maybe that could just be called the Adult Cheetos Test.) Anyway, I gotta say, that one's a better blog. It has, like, information and stuff on it.

  20. nice rant anonymous and typical of a looney leftist who impugns folks like Glenn Beck because, well, he's Glenn Beck for Gaia's sake! clearly you would be better served at another blog so go there. and one last question, are you dr hochfeld or merely the person he paid to suck his cock?

  21. Well, of course I would be better served elsewhere, since I like information. I notice you didn't get a doctor to participate in your invitation from a few weeks ago to post their rants the following Monday, maybe that's because most of them support a public option or a single-payer plan, so it's not even a very good source for rants, either, and Beavis and Butthead did the crude language thing earlier and better, so I'm not really sure what your niche is. Plus, if you're posting 7 minutes after I did, chances are you're not actually a doctor, which would make a lot more sense. It's not like I'm going to bookmark the blog of a clinically insane fake doctor, for heaven's sake. And Glenn Beck doesn't need anyone to impugn him, he's self-impugning. Pretty clever question at the end, there, though, wow! A dick reference! You know, it was said recently that Republicans have the emotional maturity of thirteen year old boys, and I thought at the time that was a little unfair to thirteen year old boys, some of whom presumably don't deny global warming and are capable of critical thought.

  22. Oh, hell, I've figured it out. You're Orly Taitz, aren't you?!!!

  23. well damn, our cover is blown now. no, none of us here are physicians, American physicians are mostly FOR more governmental control of their profession and less personal responsibilty for patients, governmental solutions are better than private ones, i did not spend five years serving as a physician in the armed services and therefore have no idea what inefficiencies and ass-hattery springs up when "the government' attempts to run anything, i have not worked in the VA and can not speak to that horrid beast of a system, i am ignoring all the previous successes of socialism and know that you will list them for me for my edification, and you are not a bought and paid for cocksucking patsy of the administration or dr hochfeld or both, oh, and i know you are a doctor from your brave and transparent screenname. douchebag.

  24. Oh, scary, Global Warming. What a scam/sourge brought on by self loathing misanthropic tree hugging homos. It's, it's, well, it's its. I will not give you the coat off my back when the streets of San Fran freeze over in the little ice age, part deux.

  25. So very typical of liberals. How many times do we have to offer alternative solutions?

    2. deregulation of health insurance providers allowing them to sell across state lines
    3. increased loan forgiveness programs for physicians serving rural communities
    4. EMTALA reform
    5. Tax breaks for providing uncompensated care
    6. Reforming the feet-thick Medicare and JCAHO requirements/rules that add layers of useless administrative personnel & cost (and do NOTHING to further patient care...NOTHING)
    7. Payment simplification and prompt pay to further decrease the layers necessary administrative personnel
    8. Health savings account availability to everyone (not just a select few)
    9. Transparency in healthcare policy language so that patients can compare coverages
    10. Disconnect the patient medical records from the billing process

    We have offered these and other workable solutions (most FAR easier than a complete overhaul of our current health care system, I might add).

    But every time you criticize the current plans to evolve us all into a single-payer system (which we all experienced in med school & residency at the hands of the VA), the Left says that we have no ideas.

    We do, they just chose to ignore them since it's much easier to call us a bunch of reactionaries than it is to argue the merits of any of the solutions that we have put forth over the past year or more.

  26. nice er85,
    but you forgot one thing and it involves anonymous and penises and oral cavities.

  27. I figured that you guys had covered that angle quite adequately!

    I thought I would try to see how he responded to a factually based logical argument. I am forever amused at how the Left almost always ignores these.

    I note that the most "logic" the guy could muster in his posts was: "you guys don't have a plan"; "you're using scary words (like Obamascare"; and "you're not really doctors". Compelling thought processes!