Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's a Miracle (with special update video)

Congrats to Sir Elton John. While checking out at the grocery store, saw a picture of him and a younger dude with his new baby. Been 20 years since I took anatomy, but told my son I figured technology has progressed to where it must have come out of his butt hole, but I didn't read the article. Regardless, way to go, Sir Elton.

42 comments:

  1. 'Cat... That's where lawyers come from... Duh!

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  2. What century are you living in, exactly?

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  3. "lacedinblack", you are quite correct, we all thought we were living in the 21st century and did not know that the Human male had evolved the ability to produce a human egg, have it fertilized by butt sex with another human male, provide something like a "womb" in which the fetus gestates, and then give birth to it in what MUST be a more painful way that has heretofore been done. kinda the whole point of the post really... How anatomy evolved so quickly since all of us here dissected cadavers a while back. amazing, amazing news...

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  4. Yeah, and good thing you boys are getting too old to have any more kids anyways, huh. No pressure to take your turn so to speak. But there's always C/S and maybe a tummy tuck if you're still kickin the idea around.

    -SCRN

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  5. The wife and I have decided to implant an embryo in my butt and give this new technology a shot. 9 months from now I expect a poop covered baby boy or girl. Hooray!

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  6. Oh, how fun!

    OK, OK, 911? OldFart? or even Frank? Who's next. Wouldn't it be fun if one of you guys got knocked-up too!!! So you and SCat could be pregnant together!!!

    -SCRN

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  7. Only thing getting near my butt is toilet paper, you faggot POS!!

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  8. i think in the spirit of the new evolved man-womb concept that hollywood should remake indecent proposal. Oldfart can play Demi Moore's role. come on man... everyone has a price right? what is it for you? three million to put a penis in your mouth? i'm not talking about sucking it... just placing it there... i mean till the swelling goes down. five million? drackman? what's your price?

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  9. Evolved man-womb concept? What kind of shit are you smoking 911? Me playing Demi Moore? I'd be glad to poke the shit out of her and her ass if I didn't already have a wife better looking then her..
    A dick near my mouth? You have been in Appalachia for too fuckin' long you homo, liberal, tree hugging, baby seal saving mutha'..I may just reach right thru the 'net and snatch your tiny balls out of your sack and stuff 'em under your eyelids you communist, obama lovin', crack ho'!!!
    Kiss my ass...

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  10. Jeez-us OF,take a Namenda or something..
    I know your still pissed cause you found out the Big East is the LeCar of Football Conferences, and even if TCU doesn't lose a game for the last few years of your life, they ain't goin to the BCS Title Game unless AlKaida blows up all 12 SEC Teams, and even then they'd probably put a Semi-SEC team like Georgia Tech or Clemson in just for sentimental value. So just sit back and enjoy it, somebody's gotta be the Pittsburgh Pirates of College Football..
    And I'm with ya on Demi Moore, and if your presbyopia allows, do yourself a favor and check out "Blame it on Rio", 17 year old Demi Moore, TOPLESS, Nuff' Said!

    Frank

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  11. Note to self... IXNAY on the ay-gay jokes with Oldfart.

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  12. Oh boy.
    I guess Mrs. Old Fart already brought this up and it didn't go over as well as it did at SCat's house.

    -SCRN

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  13. I LIKE Old Fart, its like reading something from me in the year 2061

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  14. I think that Gravid Guys will have to sit a lot, what with the center of mass problem. Which would be a plus, during football season.

    We should write this up for the "Anals of Obstetrics"!

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  15. If Men had babies Man would have gone extinct back in the Jurassic Era.

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  16. Don't know why, but in reading these comments, this came to mind.

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  17. Ok, guys, you could NOT have come up with a more perfect video clip for this farce of a story than Python.

    No mentioned in the press of the purchased ovum, rented uterus, or legion of nannies involved in Sir. Elton having "his" son. But with enough $$$ you jack off to gay porn and produce a child with half of your very own DNA. Boy-Toy is just a step-mommie-daddy.

    I refuse to refer to those with a genotype of XX as male, or XY as female, no matter how mutilated and medicated they may be. So call the PC police...oh, nevermind, if they haven't arrested Frankie yet I am SAFE!

    Pattie, RN

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  18. Pattie, RN,

    I suppose you're gonna camp out at SCat's house with your big 'ol sign.

    Hater! Sarah Palin wannabe!

    -SCRN

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  19. William Shatner's cover of "Rocket Man" totally kicked Elton Johns Gay Ass.
    "Benny and the Jets" is still pretty good though.
    Frank "Benny....Bennny...Bennnn-Kneeeeee"
    Drackman

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  20. @911doc Maybe I'm having a sense of humour failure because I can't tell if you're joking or if you're actually a bigot, but would you have this much of a problem with a straight couple who adopted?

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  21. @ lacedinblack.
    9-11's just :( cause I've been tryin to change his name to "6-7" to match his pitiful-excuse-for-a-College-Football-Team-thats-so-bad-even-there-cute-mascot-went-and-caught-lymphoma-so-he-wouldn't-have-to-go-to-the-games.
    Boy thats alot of those "-" things.
    and 9-11, I mean "6-7" doesn't like anybody, I heard he even pretends he's diabetic so he doesn't have to waste money on Girl Scout Cookies.
    If Kids are gonna be sexually abused, it oughta be by a RELATIVE, and not somebody who's so desperate for a kid they'll pay $40,000 for an anti-social Belorussian with a bad attitude and a lazy eye.
    But thats just my 2 cents.

    Frank "14-0" Drackman

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  22. lacedinblack - My reaction is visceral. The photo made my skin crawl. Does that make me a bad person? Or do you also have that reaction and have to force yourself to be open minded? This is actually a serious question. Why does the reaction exist in the first place?

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  23. lacedinblack,
    i will respond when i can get all these women off of me.
    best

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  24. @Peggyu:
    Don't be ashamed of your Homophobia, its just Evil-lution, a selective advantage like an opposable thumb or a fear of Large Black Males, I mean Snakes.
    Just kidding, I LIKE Snakes. But seriously, back in Fred Flintstone Times, the Homo Tribe was too busy commiting crimes against nature to build proper defenses to keep the Velociraptors out, so they all got eaten. And even if they ran away from T-rex on there prancing tootsies, they couldn't reproduce.
    Lesbians, on the other hand, are just the opposite, inspiring even those guys in the shallow 1/2 of the gene pool to go forth and get the tuna lovers to try a little Sausage.
    I mean if I had 10 cents for every lesbian who told me to go F myself, I'd have umm about $5.70.

    Frank

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  25. dear lacedinblack,

    i will answer now that friday night's cross-burning, catfish boil, and midget-toss festival is but a painful, very painful memory.

    all kidding aside... which one of these statements do you favor... if you can think of a third, add it, but i think one of the two will be what you believe...

    1. there are a fixed set of moral laws common to all humanity and while we as individuals sometimes may be mistaken about them and act in ways that contravene them, nevertheless, they comprise an ideal to which we should all aspire.

    2. there are no fixed set of moral laws, simply societal conventions which change with time and the peculiarities of the day. hence, it is not possible to look at behaviors or actions and call them 'wrong'... it is only possible to state your personal preference about things. 'morals', themselves a product of evolutionary pressures and 'herd instinct', evolve just like species evolve.

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  26. Hey 6-7,
    I've got a 3rd,4th, and 5th that my Dad taught me when I was a po black chile'.

    1: Lord Loves a Workin Man
    2: Don't Trust Whitey
    3: See a Doctor and get rid of it

    hasn't let me down yet,

    Frank

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  27. Hey 14-0*,
    you have finally convinced me that there is such a thing as a redneck Jew. so you and me, we're like half- twins of two gay daddies who hired a uterus etc... Shalom and y'all keep 'em straight out there.

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  28. So let's get this straight. You're a group of Southern ER docs who believe that the Hypocratic Oath no longer applies, abortion shouldn't be an option for any woman, poor people are too lazy to get jobs with good healthcare and therefor don't deserve any, and gay guys are all pedophile fudge packers.

    Did I miss anything?

    May I and everyone I hold dear never need emergency medical treatment south of the Mason Dixon line.

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  29. CannedAss,
    Don't make me slap you like a tard'.
    Your Wronger than 2 men having sex...
    We're not all ER Docs, the Hippocritic Oath has never applied, even in Hippocrates time, I like abortion just fine, Safe, Legal, and Disproportionately practiced by minorities, and it takes alot of initiative/courage to just WALK in downtown Atlanta, much less sell crack, and you left out that the Homos spread the Hiv-ie and Gay Bowel Syndrome.
    and you know the great "John Hopkins" Hospital?? With its reknowned "Shock Trauma" Medstar trauma unit?
    Its BELOW the Mason & Dixon(the proper name)Line, which separates Pennsylvania and Mary-land(which was a Slave State BTW) which even I know, and I spent 12.5 yrs in Pubic Schools.
    now get back to your penis.
    Frank

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  30. Luckily, I really don't have to worry about coming across any of you racist, homophobic, misogynistic, grandiose, corporofascists at John's Hopkins, do I?

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  31. Corporofascist? The word is Coprophage, and your picture is next to it in the dictionary.

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  32. CannedAss,
    No, you probably won't find any of us at John Hopkins, cause none of us would live/work in a State that fought on the wrong side in the War of Northern Aggression...
    Butt..............................
    When you come down with some illness/injury they can't treat in Canada, umm like an ingrown toenail, and you come to America cause despite the Racism/Homofobia/Misogynism/Grandiosity/Coprowatever, we still have the bestus Medical System in the Universe, which is why Castro got his Aortic Valve Replacement in Havanna North(Miami) and not Havanna South.
    And when you come to America, good chance you'll make a stop in Atlanta, at least if you Fly on Canadia's National Airline, Delta.
    And when you try plugging your 220v vibrator into a 120v outlet, and need to be defibralated, good chance it'll be ME standing by like all those spectators in the Zapruder film...
    Cause I fly alot...

    Frank

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  33. The word is Coprophage, and your picture is next to it in the dictionary.

    Yes, and please use Listerine when you brush!

    It is "Johns Hopkins" without the apostrophe, on account of the fact that the man's parents gave him the first name "Johns", rather than "John". "Johns" was the surname of his maternal ancestors.

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  34. hey 14-0*, you lay it down straight... for a Jew.

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  35. Thats a dream of mine...
    Open a Jewish Theme-Bar, Lukewarm Goldstar on Tap(just like in Tel Aviv), "Munich", "Inglorious Basterds" and HUD footage from the 1981 Osirik raid in endless loop on the BigScreen...
    All you can eat Deep Fried Motzah Balls and Kosher Wings...
    And if you don't have a gun, we'll rent you one at the door, unless your on the Mossad Watch list or you look the least bit A-rab...
    And we'll have a shootin range out back, life size targets of Judaism's biggest enemies, Hitler, Arafat, Khomeni, and Jimmy Carter.
    Just a TARGET of Jimmuh, everyone knows he doesn't drink..

    Frank

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  36. dear tracy,
    i hope you are right, but i'm curious how you know.

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  37. i guess that should be...i think they will make great dads. 'K?

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