What you see above is a TOFKAJCAHO (the organization formerly known as JCAHO and now known as "The Joint Commission") violation... if it is anywhere near where doctors or nurses work in the ER. However, if you move it fifteen feet into a patient's room, where procedures are done, it is no longer a violation.
Suggestion to my ER brethren... Go ahead and eat and drink where you work... If you are approached by a hospital compliance officer or, better yet, a TOFKAJCAHO douchebag, there are two options here...
1. If you have already supped, then you say, 'Oh this? This belongs to the patient in bed X, they just asked me if I could take it out of their room.' Then toss it.
2. If you have not already supped then you say, 'Oh this? This belongs to the patient in bed X, they just asked me for something to eat and I was about to bring it to them.'
Please feel free to add to the list of ways to screw with these bastards. By the way, does anyone know the amount of the fine that would be imposed by TOFKAJCAHO were the above tray to be found at a doctor's work station? TOFKAJCAHO, the botflies of medicine. In fact, since they have changed their name more times than Prince I will be representing them from now on by a symbol, the botfly.
Sounds like the Joint Commission is way overdue for an enema.
ReplyDelete911, you guys don't got game, I guess. We have that all figured out. There are ways. Ask your nurses.
ReplyDelete-SCRN
i'm all ears SCRN, and my nurses are too, because right now they go out to their cars, drive off hospital property, and eat in the hood.
ReplyDeleteWow, then I don't have game. Who gets to leave? Nobody gets to leave :(
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to blow our cover here. I am sure the "police" read your blog regularly. These are closely held secrets, with contingency plans. If you screw it up, and get the unit tagged, you can expect a blowdart in the back within 24.
-SCRN
New signs went up in the private doctors' work rooms saying no food or drink. WTF? If I can't eat or drink there that leaves the halls or the cafe that is CLOSED at night when I work! I have decided to eat in the patients' rooms.
ReplyDeleteNo food or drink? Is that a civil rights violation?
ReplyDeleteI bet the compliance officers break their own rules. Catch one of them at it, using whatever means, and then blackmail him. Plant a Twinkie on him and set him up if you have to.
ReplyDeletedear peggyU,
ReplyDeletethe twinkie-plant... brilliant. note to self... buy box of twinkies... keep near you at work... work on sleight of hand... bingo.
Good one Peggy. But the Cheetos smear on the lab coat or clipboard paper really has better crime scene impact as it is tough to remove.
ReplyDelete-SCRN
I took a "Big Gulp" in the OR once...
ReplyDeletenoone even noticed till I got to the bottom, and it made that "Sucking Air" sound, so I just protended I was suctioning something...
Then there was the time I noticed my gym bag that's never been to a Gym, buts the perfect size for bringing Porn, I mean Journals to the OR, felt heavier than normal...about 42 Oz to be exact, which coincidentally is the exact weight of a Smith & Wesson Model 28 Revolver.
And I didn't shoot anyone, couldn't.
Oh, I had plenty of Ammo, a pistol without ammo's just an overpriced club.
No hearing protection...
Y'see I was doin this rotation in DC, and I'd intended to put the gun in the Trunk, but it was like 20 below.
OK, it was 72 degrees in May, I forgot.
Frank
Cheetos smear - perfect!!! A little stale alcohol beverage would be a nice touch too.
ReplyDeleteDrackman - My dad used to get some psychiatric organization's publication that had a section full of dirty jokes in it ... and then they would "analyze" the humor. I figured it was just an excuse to run the jokes and disguise it as something scholarly. There was probably an attempt to slide porn in there too, I would guess.