Friday, February 25, 2011

MDOD Douchebags of the Month

Hands down, douchebags of the month, and, as a kind reader points out, whilst 'practicing' medicine in the streets of Madison, these doctors are in violation of the following...

Clearly no one is concerned about patient privacy here. And if I'm not mistaken, I can read a whole lot of identifying information on these 'notes'... Doctor's name, patient's name... And an ersatz mini-me castrati Michael Moore (but I repeat myself)... Really, did you go to med school dude? Because I see you much more as a bear-cub... if you know what I'm saying.... Not judging you, just pointing out the obvious... Don't shave your chest. And get used to being on your knees. Federal law violations here. I'm sure the Obama administration is all over it (no need for action on our parts).

2. TOFKAJCHAO Guidelines.
I mean, you could poop a sterling-silver turd that smelled like roses and cured HIV and you would still run afoul of these.Clearly there is food (and or herbal supplements) in the patient care areas here, and even though lots of marijuana is being smoked (which is completely cool and all)... somewhere here, tobacco is being smoked, and that's a clear whatchamacallit violation.

3. The smell test. Smells like 8th grade, passive aggressive bullshit. Michael Moore look-alike in video, ergo, is, in fact, 8th grade, passive-aggressive bullshit. Besides, if any of these 'patients' had been truly ill, you would have done what you always do.... you would have sent them to the ER.

4.The "Out and Proud" sensibilities of the United States of College Campuses of the Western World. Clearly the two chick doctors are lovers. Clearly the female teachers, every single one of them, are rug-munchers. The problem is that we don't even get to see them kiss, and their unshaven axillae are not flaunted, nor are they carrying a 'we hate penises' sign. I have no doubt they are in the Family Practice residency, which, to be fair, is quite demanding compared to becoming a teacher (though both eventually pay about the same), and they are going the extra mile to be trained in the fine art of dilation and curettage so as to limit the impact of overpopulation on mother-Gaia.

5. American sensibilities. Contrary to what Al Gore and Nancy Pelosi say, these exist, and are definable. Challenge... Go show this video in your local pub/ pool hall... see what reaction you get. You can ignore it or criticize it, but it's there. What you get there is what you would get everywhere except Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, NYC, Boston, and certain very special sections of Atlanta.

America! Support your teachers! Say, how are those kid's test scores doing? How is that public education these days? And hey, Dr. Shropshire and colleagues... you guys are a really bad joke. You are lying for the mob bosses and you didn't even get paid. Snoop Dog is frowning. Straight up.


  1. Such a target rich environment...
    just a few observations

    1: Does Wisconsin have any African Americans? Replayed the clip over and over Zapruder Film style, and narry a Brutha/Sista to be seen.

    2: Wats your problem with "Rug Munchers"?!??! OK, the dyke at 0:37 is gross, but your sayin you woulnd't enjoy watchin blondie and her gf makeout?? Wat are ya? a HO-MO??????

    3: The chick at 0:45 has my Nose. Seriously, I had to check to see if mine was still there, hold on, yep.

    4: I really really really hate doctors who wear white coats with there name/specialty in red cursive, like the Elmer-Fudd-Capp-Wearing-Butt-Pirate at 1:08-1:20, I once had my own white coat monogrammed "Frank Drackman M.D. "Pussy-ologist" and noone even noticed. Seriously, if there's ever a cereal killer knockin off White-Coat-With-Red-Cursive-Monogram-Wearin-Doctors, don't come lookin for me, if you know whats good for ya.

    5: Whats America Coming to?, WRITE YOUR OWN FAKE DOCTORS NOTES DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, what a great idea for a blog post...



  2. 911, please revise. Your post does carry merit but suffers due to some suspect/weak argument. Few things...
    1. No HIPPA violation.
    4. Gotta call BULLSHIT on ya, 911. As a member of the straight female club, I/we understand that you guys are forever tortured by the existence of lesbians. All this bashing but can I watch stuff you all do.
    5. Real pool halls and pubs are for your working class. As soon as you show up and want to hear Snoop, the place loses cred. (sheesh 911, I'm whiter than white and I don't even listen to Snoop).


  3. frank,
    right on.

    i don't dislike lesbians! they dislike me! and snoop rules, sorry. he has put out some real stinkers, but you can't not groove to 'what's my name?'... and to be fair... if these were conservative docs doing this, there would be TONS of HIPAA violations.

  4. and frank,
    there's not any African 'Mericans in that video because they are scared of insane white people.

  5. Quit hating on the family practice folks. I'm out here in the trenches busting my ass, doing the primary care/urgent care thing, and just this week direct admitted three patients from my practice thus avoiding the dreaded trip the ER which is a waste of everyone's time and money.

    You can retract said statement or my rather large redneck Family Medicine self will drive 90 minutes south and key up Drackman's new to him corvette, convince his daughter that Georgia Tech does indeed suck, and whisk her off to Athens where all good Family Med docs went to undergrad.

    You can leave the part about same pay as teachers though. Pretty dead on there.

  6. hey dr dawg,
    no sweat... there aren't many of you old school family docs eft though! didn't mean to tar you with the same brush as that madison crowd... keep it up doc, and go dawgs. ps, let's see if we can get an UGA that lives more than a year. (and i think drackman is more concerned about his daughter dating an asian at tech who is, by drack's own admission, scary smart.... jewish, asian kids... (that's got to be nobel caliber there) than he is about you keying his corvette... but it's a great idea).

    and anonymous,
    thomas sowell? the guy who wrote 'basic economics' which should be a required text for all people in the world and who is a genius black conservative at the hoover institution at stanford? never heard of him.

  7. i think i'll print out Dr. D' Medical excuse and take it to my Dr. appointment tomorrow.

  8. "Kind reader"? You won't be saying that at the next Cocktail Party!

    I found the Snoop stuff to be insightful, to the extent that he wouldn't bring himself down to the Suge level and wind up, what was it?, "blowin' cash out my anus"? Something like that.

    There is nothing liberals cannot get away with and there is nothing conservatives can get away with. Just ask my probabtion officer.

  9. Dear CJrun,
    I like the last part of the 'rap'... the little voice saying 'pimp slapped'... there's real genius here...

  10. 911Doc,

    Not an "old school" family doc as I'm just 37 but I do try and practice old school way.

    Drackman's daughter is dating an asian guy and you're shocked? I thought that's the only version you could get at Tech?

    As for UGA the mascot, gene pool has gotten a little too shallow. However, I hear cheap firewood is about to be available at Drackman's alma mater down on ThePlains.

    And Drackman, I'm driving through the ATL about 1pm Friday headed south to shoot some quail with my old UGA roommates (3 docs and foot dentist) I'll be happy to buy you a beer as you drown your father of hot duaghters sorrows or I can just deface the paintjob on your midlife crisis. Your pick. If you're good I'll introduce you to my UGA grad Jewish hedgefund manager that just moved into Va Highlands with his HOT, HOT Russian Jewish wife.