Friday, December 02, 2011

Deputize ER Docs

I think if we simply deputized ER docs then our problems would be solved. "Sir, you are lying to me in order to obtain narcotics and I can prove it. You are under Arrest." The police won't do it, so how about letting us?


  1. Its already legal 9-11, its called a "Citizen's Arrest" remember that Andy Griffith episode where Gomer arrested Barney...
    I used to do it in college all the time, had one of those JC Whitney blue lights you plug in the cigarrete lighter, and just wait for some hottie to turn right on red...
    And Rx fraud is so senseless when by merely joining the Native American Church you can partake in mind expanding Peyote to your hearts content..
    And you dont have to be a Real Indian, in one of the few good thangs Jimmuh Carter did, "The American Indian Religious Freedom Act of 1978"(92 USC 469)says anyone can smoke the Peace Pipe regardless of Race, Color, or Creed..
    But I still keep a copy of U.S. Vs Boyle, and my Great Uncle Shemp Proudfoot Drackmans DD214 just in case...


  2. frank,
    i do remember that episode of andy griffith and i HAVE tried to citizen's arrest pimps and hos in the ER only to have the cops walk them out and uncuff them in the parking lot. now in residency, that was some SHIT my man. had a sherrif in the ER and a jail cell times two and they were usually full. we only had to look at the Sherrif and off to jail your punk ass went. we felt safe there. haven't felt safe in the ER since. especially since the security guards are hired out of local nursing homes and have..... a nightstick hanging from their belts.

  3. @ Girlvet...
    first of all, I'd like to thank you for your service to our Nation. If it wasn't for chicks like you cooking/doing laundry/typing, the Navy SEALS would be hungry/dirty, and there'd be misspellings on there Medal of Honor Citations...
    Like that "There" I just used wrong, fix that for me sweet cakes...
    Or are you a Girl Veterinarian? Which I wish I'd been.
    A Veterinarian I mean, not a Girl.
    And I thought about goin XX, I mean DVM, and if it wasn't for that "D" in Poultry Science I'd be treatin alot of Ol' Trays and Fluffies instead of J'aqu'ile'twat'man-killuh Washingtons...
    And what do you "Like" exactly?,
    1:9-11's ill conceived plan to Deputize ER Docs? I don't know bout where you live, but most of the ER docs around here look like the "20th" hijacker, Nome, Sane..
    And maybe I don't want Dr. Mohammed Atta knowing what I want that Valtrex Scrip for at 3am...
    ITS FOR MY MIGRAINES!, don't they teach "Off Label" in Bangalore?
    2: My entirely fictional endorsement of Peyote, and like most thangs Jimmuh Cartuh did, the law allowing Pale-faces to partake in the Wacky-Cacti is of absolutely no practical use in 49/50 States.
    well at least in Alabama, just tell Deputy Fife it's Chewin Tabacky..


  4. I have learned just today of a new "trend" in the local "pain management" clinics aka "pill mills".

    1. Someone sets up the business, gets a licnese, pays rent, etc. This person always seems to be a chiropractor, an older person with years of experience in a medical field, but they are never a doctor.

    2. They hire several FNP's to see 20-30 patients a day and do all the "pain documentation".

    3. Patients are usually all on the same recipe of oxycontin bid and oxy IR 4 times a day for "breakthrough".

    4. Hire an M.D. to supervise the FNP's and sign off on everything but have he/she as a hired employee. They do not run the practice.

    5. Don't worry about filing insurance or getting a credit card machine. This practice is CASH ONLY. $250 flat fee. If you don't have it you don't get to go back and get your scripts. You HAVE to come in every month and pay your cash to see the FNP who merely writes the scripts for the next month.

    An FNP friend worked in one for 2 days recently. Hated it and walked out. Practice was seeing 60-80 patients a day and had a 400 patient waiting list to get in. They just couldn't keep the FNP's around long enough to satisfy demand even though they were paying them $100 an hour.

    At 70 patients a day, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month that's 350K in cash MINUS overhead a MONTH.

    Do the math, that's some CRAZY amount of cash receivables.

  5. Hey Dawg...
    I know your still celebrating only losing to LSU by 32 points but............
    And congrats to Mark Richt for his contract extension for 10 years or until the Rapture, whichever comes first. And I heard the NCAA's considering making the better team win by more than the Point Spread, oh that wouldn't have helped...
    The Pain Clinic owner who was arrested in the most recent ATL bust was.....
    AN ER DOCTOR, a real one, residency and everything, instead of just watching old "ER" reruns like I did.
    And I know thats completely Anecdotal, just like because I'm an Obnoxious A-Hole, people thing all 2010SEC/BCS CHAMPION AUBURN TIGERS fans are Obnoxious A-Holes.
    Still, $350,000/monts nothing to sneeze at, makes my Garage Illegal Alien Vasectomy business look pitiful...


  6. Sorry Dawg, forgot to type my original reply...
    I did some "Pain" training in residency, everyone hated it, cause it was the only rotation where we actually had to talk/listen to patients and you couldn't read Hustler while pretending to chart. And you could just go take a piss anytime you wanted instead of waiting for a break or trying to pretend you were emptying the Foley bag while pissing in one of those 750cc Normal Saline bottles...
    And I don't mind talking to patients as long as its "Open your mouth" "Sign Here" and "Count backwards from 100".
    And we didn't use a "Recipe" as you call it, you know, like how Shrinks flip a coin to decide between Zoloft/Prozac/Effexor.
    We carefully reviewed the patients history, Labs, Radiographic Studies, Psychological Profile, Specialist Consultss, calculated medication/doseage based on lipid solubility, Volume of distribution, Half Life, Creatinine Clearance.
    OK, we wrote for the same doseage as in your "Recipe"...