Thursday, December 01, 2011

The Lottery Solution

So the thought struck me today, as I waited in a long line at a 'convenience' store, that we should fund the gratis care given in the ER through a lottery. That way people receiving free care would actually be paying for it.

I mean, I waited for five minutes to pay for some gum and a toy whilst a few fine citizens with blinged-out cell phones and a few hundred pounds too much between them argued over which scratch-off to buy and which powerball numbers would be winners. They somehow expected the clerks to steer them in the right direction.

I didn't mind the wait... It's the only tax those fine folks will pay, and, to be kind, I call it the "I am math-challenged" tax... and when you buy the three day old fried chicken and a clamato-beer to top it off then I know I am on to something here.

They will be in the ER tonight, or in a year, clasping their Marlboros (and their latest Iphone), and pleading ignorance of the extreme danger of lottery play when combined with smoking and three-day-old fried chicken.

The lottery, the tax for people who don't pay for shit. I love it.


  1. Last convenience store I actually went inside was in Germany, and thats only cause you can't buy porn at the pump...
    I mean the GOOD porn, with Dobermans...
    Be Honest 9-11, at least one of those Math Challenged rubes was wearing a UGA Hat-T-shirt-Flip-Flops...
    And thats one thang you won't find in Alabama, a lottery(there's plenty of math challenged camoflouge-flip-flop wearing rubes) mainly cause we don't have any disposable income after bettin on the Greyhounds(the Buses, not the Dogs, its called "Macon County Poker" you bet whether the 10:15 to Anniston will get there on an odd or even minute)
    And I can't believe those Idiots who stand in line to buy "Millionaire's Club" tickets when you can go to Http://
    and play Powerball($40,000,000) Megamillions ($75,000,000) Euromillions(25 million Euros)
    and the Irish, Canadian, and UK lotteries all from the comfort of your doublewide...


  2. Don't think we aren't already going there. The trauma system in Oregon is now being funded on taxes on medical marijuana. Am I supposed to be thankful for the fibromyalgiers now???

  3. Awesome! Because medical marijuana has all those neato double blind placebo controlled studies proving its efficacy in treating everything.... Oh, wait, no we don't, we only have self reports from marijuana users.... Well fuck it.... why not REALLY fund it by setting up oxyconting gumball machines at the corner store?