Sunday, April 01, 2012
Back to the ER
Well, I really did give it a run. The Gub'mnt job was all that I expected. I got a good rest. Now it's time to do go some Cowboy stuff again. Wish me luck! There's tons of sick people out there and I got what they need baby!
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fool me once
ReplyDeletems1
Hey 911. Long time reader. I'm gonna be starting an EM residency this upcoming July. You got any tips for us lowly interns? I feel like I've forgotten 75% of everything already and am afraid this will be bad come intern time. Should I read something before I begin?
ReplyDeletems1,
ReplyDeletearen't you ms4 by now?
pudortu,
get 'emergency medicine secrets' and read it three times. then just go and bend over. that's really all you need to do. good luck by the way. it will go so quickly, just like a dental appointment!
911,
ReplyDeleteim an ms2. boards in 6 weeks, then starting rotations. first rotation is an elective...ill give you one guess what i chose first..
pud,
911 gave me the same advice a year ago, and i learned more out of that book than out of First Aid.
ms1
OMG.
ReplyDelete-SCRN
Pudortu's got a blog... You have absolutely no memory 911.
ReplyDelete-SCRN
@ Pudortu
ReplyDelete"Tropic of Cancer"
and its got nuthin to do with the Tropics, Or Cancer, it's sort of my "Atlas Shrugged".
and that whole "(Specialty Redacted)Secrets" thang is such a crock, its not a "Secret" if its in a book. But in no particular order, here's Franks tips for a suscessful Internship.
1: Lube, lots of it.
2: The only stupid question is the one you ask.
3: Targets of Opportunity: Ultrasound techs, radiology techs, Autopsy Techs, pretty much anythang thats got "Tech" in the title and works mostly alone.
4: Before you go to a Code, check your own pulse, then find something else to do.
5: Take at least 2 hours during your day to read, meditate, exercise, or look at Porn.
and I know your sayin "2 Hours?!" I'm gonna be cracking chests, diagnosing strange and unusual diseases, dictating 43 discharge summaries for Interns who did the sensible thang and killed themselves.
Ya gotta do it during the down time, when nothing importants goin on, like Rounds.
Of course in 1988 we didnt have no fancy cell phones with I-tunes, just an old issue of "Screw" with a ripped "NEJM" cover taped over the front...
Frank
Hey 911, my back hurts, I need a few oxys to get me through?
ReplyDeleteSure Anon.,
ReplyDeleteYour "pain syndrome" must be acting up. How many do you need? Three hundred? Sure. Be sure to fill out one of our customer satisfaction surveys on your way out and you go have yourself a wonderful day sir and come back a often as you like! Happy to serve and pip-pip
... Cheerio
ReplyDeleteIts cool 9-11, you can tell the truth...
ReplyDeletetheres only so many "MPH" forms you can fill out before your ready to go all Robert Bales on the next malingerer..
I'm surprised you lasted that long actually,
and Where have all the Cowboys gone?
And I'm not talkin bout those "Broke Back, Mounting" Homos, I mean REAL Cow Pokes like Doc Holliday, Butch Cassidy, the Cheyenne Kid..
Where is my John Wayne,
Where is my Happy Ending,
W-W-W-here have all the Cowboys gone??...
Frank
Most of the cowboys were killed by the feminists. Some still exist but they are closet Cowboys, and not the broke-back kind neither. Toughest guys on the planet = rodeo Cowboys... "just stitch it up doc and put that needle away... Got a bull whose ass I gotta kick... Much obliged."
ReplyDeleteOh, to be clear, they were killed by the feminists because they would never hit a woman, if only a woman by name.
ReplyDeleteTo bad I don't have my own blog anymore..
ReplyDeleteTook a splinter out of a 16 yr olds foot this weekend.
ON MY BED..
seemed like the thing to do, little local anesthetic, and just whip it out, I mean pull it out, I mean,
EXTRACTED the Splinter..
and don't call DFACS
it wasnt a 16 yr old dude
Frank
Oh I get it,
ReplyDeleteApril 1st, DUH.............
Frank
Uh, Lynn...
ReplyDeleteThat was an Aptil Fool's post.
;$