Friday, November 06, 2009

Through the Looking Glass

Alice Delafleurs
Casablanca News/Ministry of Truth

Bobby Lee Smith, in a rage fueled by his fundamentalist Christian beliefs, went on a murder spree at Fort X today killing 13 people and wounding at least thirty. Crisis counseling teams from Washington are, as we speak, en route to the area, and the FBI has arrested all known acquaintances of Mr. Smith and has taken his family in for questioning.

President Barack Obama quickly called a national press conference to press for passage of his national health care initiative, stricter gun-control laws, and to condemn this act as a hate crime. He also stated that Mr. Smith's church would be shut down "until further notice", and expressed his "strong belief" that Mr. Smith's murder spree was not a random act of violence, but rather an "expression of the fundamental tenets of his religious beliefs which are openly anti-American". Mr. Obama also hinted that Mr. Smith might be sent to the Guantanamo Bay detention facility until his trial by military tribunal.

Mr. Smith is a registered republican and is rumored to have visited Idaho recently, where right-wing hate groups including the Aryan Nations and the American Nazi Party, have been known to have been organizing for years. His personal emails, made public on our main site, show a rigid belief in the christian 'god' and a desire for 'justice'. He also is a NASCAR aficionado.

Candlelight vigils will be held tonight across the country. At the vigils a petition will be presented by A.C.O.R.N. to push for gun-control legislation, and to ask congress to indict former President Bush for his weak record on gun-control, and for his militaristic bearing which may have given some impetus to Mr. Smith's rampage. You may sign this petition at our main website also.

Unfortunately the government may have some road-blocks to a quick conviction at trial as Mr. Smith is a diagnosed 'paranoid schizophrenic', but a Harvard psychiatrist, speaking off-the-record (and on condition of anonymity) said the following. "Mr. Smith certainly seemed to be paranoid in the days prior to the shooting, but his emails do not seem to be these of a true schizophrenic, rather, they seem to be the writings of a man obsessed with military culture and angry that he could not enlist in the Army due to his 'diagnosis' ".

Mr. Smith's actions recall those of Timothy McVeigh, the so called 'pro-life' movement, the Salem witch trials, the Spanish Inquisition, and the crusades,... the common thread is impossible to ignore. Mr. Smith committed the murders with weapons stolen from a neighbor. The neighbor has been arrested.

In a tragedy such as this one does tend to question one's opposition to the death penalty, but the question 'why' seems to have already been answered.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. 911,

    Brother, I don't understand this whole religious trend. I had a missionary come in the other day with a degloved hand and open fractures. We were attempting to transfer this guy to see a hand surgeon and he told us, "I cannot make this decision. You will have to call my counselor." I just can't see having someone else make a decision for me under the pretext that the Lord is telling him that I should or should not seek proper medical attention.

  3. ER-SCUT, there are zealots and fanatics in every facet of life. The green movement, politics, sports, everything...

    911 - Nice touch with the NASCAR refrence.

  4. Please excuse my spelling...reference. UGH.

  5. This, if it were truth and not parody, is patently outrageous and an excellent thought excersize.

    For any coverage, I flip the words Republican and Democrat to see if either/or makes me angry. Try it, a good way to see if my bias is making me irrational.

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  7. Great post! I really like your blog!!

    ps. Link Exchange?

  8. Good one, and WAY too close to the truth... sigh...

  9. ER-SCUT,

    I think missionaries are totally supported by their church, financially speaking. Maybe his remark had nothing to do with his faith, but more with who was going to foot the bill and how it was going to be taken care of.
    Just a thought...

  10. Finishing my train of thought...
    Because unless he was trying to convert you, I don't see why he would want you to call his counselor.

  11. Amy-65C,

    That very well could have been the case with him but the vibe he was giving off was more along the lines of I will not consent if he doesn't consent.

  12. dear canned am,
    no stripstease allowed here... do enlighten us... i so look forward to it.

  13. There are some nice images out there of his business cards, which identify him as a "Soldier of Allah", among other things. I was under the impression that Majors in the Army Medical Corps were soldiers of, like, the United States.

    Conspicuously absent from his card is any mention of his rank or military affiliation.