"Yeah mom, I'm like, SOOOOO bummed.... I mean, first I don't get into Princeton and now this! Those hicks down the road are SO obnoxious! Can I please get a ticket to come home tomorrow? I mean, we camped out for three days! The after party is just SO NOT HAPPENING! Please mom???? Can I get dad to take me to Bloomingdales?"
Ah, the delicioius, sweet nectar of a Dookie's tears. A beat-down in Cameron on national TV. Delicious. All the fat, big-haired, cystic acne plagued Jersey girls are pounding shots and pounding ugly Jersey guys and, like the last time I was there, probably burning dorm furniture.
Duke, the University of New Jersey in Durham. It's your safety school and you worship a pagan god with a bad haricut. And your god just got waxed.
