Sunday, January 24, 2010

Some people were just born lucky

Well last week I'm doing a fast track shift and a fairly typical borderline, anti-social, back pain patient comes in who has been seeing his chiropracter for 6 months and is, of course, getting worse. Starts immediately cussing and carrying on how much pain he is in, he can't move, can't walk, we haven't given him anything for pain, he's waited too long(20 min from arrival to me seeing him) you guys know the drill...

He's motherf^#@!g this, assh**&l that. I'm trying to keep my cool, but one thing leads to another and I just, well, stop trying to be nice to this sh!!thead and when he says he doesn't have to come to this hospital, I try to hand back his MRI folder and he swats away my hand, throws a sneaky left hook, which somehow I manage to make miss, and then he gets me by my scrub top with both hands almost before I can react. I manage to snap out of it and grab him by the throat and pin him back against the wall whereupon he immediately starts yelling to his wife to get the phone up and video this so they can go to "their" lawyer. People finally arrive to "help" me which seems to consist of them trying to get me to let go of his throat. I was pissed I admit.

He, of course, doesn't know that I am still trying to recover from breaking my neck in '08 and have lost about 80% of my muscle mass or more, can't even make my fingers snap. Good Lord, what I would have done 10 years ago!!

Some people were just born lucky...


  1. File assault and battery charges and sue him as well. Please. Hope you are okay.

  2. Oh for the love. I swear 90% of people dont know how to behave. Hope youre ok and he's a cripple.

  3. Whatever they pay you, it isn't enough

  4. Ugh OF, you deserve so much better! I hope the hospital is going to come to your defense.

  5. Back pain for 6 months and he goes to the emergency room? Obviously this is not an emergency if it's been going on this long so why not a regular office visit with a doctor? Too cheap to pay and he hopes the hospital will write it off? How has he been paying the chiropracter?

    Sure, I'd countersue.

  6. I KNOW what you could have done to him 10 years ago…you did it to me a few times!!

    Did he get his shot of Demerol before he left?

    Make sure he gets a Press-Gainey survey!

    The guy is lucky to be alive. Maybe next time, you'll just pull the gun out of your boot and "solve" his problem!


  7. Thats what sucks about bein a doctor...
    Even if you had a valid concealed weapon permit and did society a solid by shootin the waste of semen square between the eyes, good luck finding a jury with 12 like minded citizens, much less doctors...
    Used to carry a 5cc syringe of Succinyl choline for similar contingincies till I stuck myself by mistake...Of course it would be horrible if somehow the President received a threatening letter signed by the scumbag...


  8. Farty, I know you would have kicked him in the nards - if he'd had any.

  9. I hope no harm resulted (to you, that is).
    Please tell us that he got some silver bracelets and you filed a police report!

  10. Yes, I filed a police report, but, of course, he did too. Nurses as my witnesses. Wife is his.
    What a PIA..

  11. My neck hurts now. Think I can get a shot of Dilaudid? 6 mg IM should do fine!

  12. Great, just great. This makes me sad. Here's to a quick end to the ridiculousness that is to follow, Oldfart.


  13. OMG, I hope you are ok? Is your neck ok? If he is in so much pain, how could he muster the energy to hit you. I have episodes of spine pain myself and when I am really in bad shape, I am not going into the hospital. It is best worked out with your PCP or pain specialist.

  14. Can't you just automatically call security if the patient is anti-social? Just get security as another witness. Maybe a huge security guy with a video camera.

    "Unmedicated people suck."