Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Aunt Samantha Wants You to...

I don't even know where to begin with the Nanny-ism that has crept into medicine to the detriment of all. Triage nurses have quite enough to do, thank you, without asking Nanny-mandated questions like... "Do you feel safe at home?" and "Do you have guns in the house?".

First of all, what do we do with positive answers to these questions from triage IF we happen to notice them on the nurses note? I mean, people come to the ER for a variety of reasons, but they do not come to me to talk about gun safety. If they are coming to talk to me about feeling unsafe in the house then what do I do? Call the police?

If we happen to have social work in the ER then you know what happens? I call them, they come in, and they send the patient home with some information. Have we helped? How the hell should I know? I do Emergency Medicine, but, the reality is, I now do social work too, because the social worker goes home at 5 and guess what? I'm not trained for that, and "this is your responsibility" is a no-no these days. But I do have a solution.

I am now giving the White House telephone number to all these folks who either have guns in the house or don't feel safe at home. They have problems only the government can solve.

And OBTW, to the nice gal I met on the plane the other day, I will fight you to the death to keep from having to draw screening HIV labs in the ER on every patient to further your desire to build the complete Nanny-State. And screening pap smears in the ER? Now you are shitting me, right? Go to medical school yourself you RLB trustafarian, you have no idea how close I came to choking you out.


  1. Hahahaha, "trustafarian", love it :-)

    Good God, I can only say it again, I'm pleased I don't work south if this is the sort of crap you put up with ;-)

    You don't feel safe in your house ?

    Well f**k off outta my ER, what the F**K do you want ME to do about it ??


  2. Go to medical school yourself you RLB trustafarian, you have no idea how close I came to choking you out.

    It would have been a public service. Did she actually suggest that crap???

  3. I defected to the hallowed halls of nursing education, and did not realize we had sunk this low already! So WHAT if I have a lovely Glock and a collection of fine single malts in my home? Both are legal to non-felon adults last time I looked....

    And do I feel safe at home? You BET'Cha! See note above re: Glock. And WTF does any of this have to do with my hypthetical broken leg?

    Thanks for fighting the good fight.

    Pattie, RN

  4. dear peggyU,
    yes, she did, and she did it with the expectation that I would just think it was a capital idea! Anne Taylor clothes only for this little princess and she smelled nice. dangerous, dangerous human.

    God bless you and your Glock (and single malts)

  5. So I don't feel safe at home. There I said it. NOT because I have an M1 Garand, a Colt 45 1911, a Winchester 30-30, etc in my gun closet...it's because I live a couple of blocks away from section 8 housing and all of the gang wannabes (GW) are moving here from Chitown! And these GW's are starting to establish turf. And the police are hamstrung in their efforts to "police".
    So next time I should tell this to the triage nurse and maybe she will patrol my perimeter and scare away the boogyman?

    Sigh, I gots ta gets out of Madison!!!


  6. "Does my sister count?"

    Answer I instructed a boy of ten to give when asked the mandatory questions about sexual activity at pediatricians office.

    Yes, I'm troublemaker

    (Note to CPS: Review of records will show the boy only has brothers)

  7. Glenn: Whats wrong with havin sex with your sister?
    I mean if Dudes can marry Dudes, why can't I get sum family Strange??
    OK, maybe a little outside the main stream, but so is my Natalie Merchant obsession.
    And I never understood that "It's like Kissin Your Sister" line...

    Frank "Keepin it in the Family" Drackman

  8. "Good God, I can only say it again, I'm pleased I don't work south if this is the sort of crap you put up with ;-)"


    I live in the northeast and was recently in the ER for a PE. They asked the same questions. Sometimes I do feel unsafe at home when my 16lbs dog is demanding a treat, but I cant see what the ER doc would do about that.

  9. frank, I'm a "look! the emperor is naked" kinda guy. you are a "look at that fat, naked dude with the condyloma that smells like tho O ring on my garbage disposal" kinda guy. and God bless you for it.

  10. I know this is off topic, but I am curious if any of you docs have read "The Rape Of Emergency Medicine" and what your thoughts on it might be.

  11. If Rape's inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it...

  12. anon., have not read it but it's on my list.

    so frank, as the recipient... are you able to enjoy it?

  13. Can you all tell me if this is just some sort of intellectual handicap or if this is a brain on drugs, or both. For the life of me, I don't believe I have ever heard anything that has left me as gobsmacked.

  14. Ahhhh!!!!

    My answer: Don't tell me how to do my job and I won't tell you how to do yours... (general you, not specific).