Thursday, July 15, 2010

Lawyer (chuckie-pie style) Intelligence Illustrated

Here's the type of "intelligence" personal injury lawyers exhibit... Pay attention
chuckie-poo maybe you'll learn something..

After almost 30 yrs of practice in high volume ED's I finally got tagged with a legal challenge and here's a small highlight. On the first day I was on the stand, and I went up 3 different times, the astute legal adversary asked if I considered Dr. Roger Barkin's "Pediatric EM Textbook", the Bible of Peds EM, was an authoritative text. I said yes, of course. And throughout the next several days he CONSTANTLY referred to the textbook for answers, so much so that the jury knew the page numbers.

(Now what you must know about trials is that each side KNOWS EXACTLY who the other side can bring to the stand before the proceedings start and also have deposed each of them!)

My side called exactly one person in my defense... drum roll.... Dr. Roger Barkin! One of the jurors actually mouthed the words "here's the man" to the juror next to them. I mean what kind of fucking idiot would constantly refer to the expert witness of the opposing side as "the leader in the field"?! I mean I actually felt sorry for the poor idiots who were suing me for a second!!...

Old "I gotcha legal intelligence right here" Fart


  1. i imagine having a post dedicated to them is like the blog troll's holy grail.

    anyway, if you haven't seen this, check it out. it will make you vomit.

  2. paul,
    fixed delusions are nearly impossible to treat.

  3. OF, Textbooks are overrated...
    that "Do you consider "X" to be an Authoritative Textbook?" question is even older than you. It's a trap, cause after you say "Yes" they produce as exhibit "A" the only copy that says its OK to engage in anal sex with premature infants...
    I prefer the John Travolta "Barbarino" approach, answering every question "What?" "Who?" "Why?" "Where"?...
    Or better yet, just plead the 5th when they try and swear you in...

    Frank "Who?" Drackman

  4. I think the Trial Lawyer is right, but just to prove it why not do a little experiment. One day, all doctors stay home from work and see what happens. Next day, Trial Lawyers stay home. Compare results. I shudder to think what lack of access to a Trial Attorney would do to our country!

  5. Score OF!

    These comments are great!

  6. The difference between that doofus in the legal rag and God is that God doesn't think he's a trial attorney (or McCloud).

  7. Ok, I have sat back and read all this bullshit about how wonderful trial lawyers are and how they should be placed on their pedestal. After completing my obligation to the US Army, I decided to become a cop. This is one case of the many cases I have witnessed first hand in a court of law with all the douche bag attorneys, both prosecutors and defense attorneys. A woman was wanting to score some Meth. Of course this model citizen could not afford the drug, so she forced her daughter - who was less than 13 years of age at the time - to perform oral sex and intercourse as well as anal intercourse with said drug dealer in exchange for Meth. The sentence for this loving mother was 12 years. But it gets better, she only had to serve 6 months in jail and the remaining sentence was to be served on DOC probation, which is designed to be much stricter than misdemeanor probation. Which by the time the verdict and sentence was reached, she had served approximately one year in jail. Therefore, she was released from custody to continue her Meth seeking life at her daughter's expense. By the time I quit law enforcement, this said woman had violated her DOC probation approximately 5 times that I know of and was never ordered to serve any of her sentence at a state prison. People that's just one of the many fucked up cases I experienced in my 5 years of law enforcement. The DA for my jurisdiction would not prosecute Assault on an Officer because, "you are expected to be assaulted when making arrests". I'm not making this seem worse than it really was. As long as an individual was under the influence of his/her prescription medications, no matter how many times they were warned by the provider prescribing the medication or the bold letters on the bottle warning being impaired while taking that medication, if that individual caused an accident injuring or even killing someone, they would NOT have been prosecuted by the DA.

    I could continue with many similar scenarios but I'm sure you are already tired of reading about this one scenario.

    911, thank you for the wedding gift. Email me so I can get your address for your thank you card!! I'm glad you are enjoying life!! Till next time, Poop Strong for the Children my friend.

  8. I think Lawyers should be drawn, quartered, and have there entrails strung out before them like crazy glue, I mean, like happened to Mel Gibson in "Brave Heart" but thats just me...


  9. If it please the Court, I meant to say
    "Have there entrails strung out before them like Crazy STRING, not Crazy Glue"
    You use the Crazy Glue to glue there eyes shut, makes the torture more horrifying, or so I'm told.
    And thats just for your run o' the mill shysters, the John Edwards's get the greatest Chinese Invention since Chop Sticks,
    "Ling Chi" or the death of a thousand cuts...


  10. If the legal system were ever to be held to the same standards as physicians (throw a law suit at em and see if it sticks) then so much of this mess could be rectified. Unfortunately, there is no accountability on their part.

  11. if lawyers were held to the same standards as physicians, that means every time a lawyer loses a case they committed legal malpractice and their client is entitled to millions. since one side always loses, one lawyer always commits malpractice. why would they go around harming their clients like that?

  12. Frank, seriously, once I let it pass. Twice, the word is, "their."

    Here's your real John Edwards' story that nobody ever bothered to even noodle:

    Remember how Edwards was famously the son of an ordinary mill worker? Actually, his dad was a mill foreman and he grew up in a well-paid household, but that's beside the point.

    Remember how Edwards made his name in trial law? You don't? A truck driver for the mill, the same exact mill, to my recollection, worked extra shifts and fell asleep at the wheel. The facts of the case are correct, though it may have been a different, nearby, mill. I remember, as I was there.

    The truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and killed a family, which was awful. That mill is now gone, overseas, as are all the textile mills in North and South Carolina. When you drive through the central part of both Carolinas, you will see an endless parade of empty textile mills, because it is legally more sensible to have employees take on extra work and endanger families ovrseas than it is to have manufacturing facilities in this country.

    The real legacy of John Edwards is that he wiped out an industry in the Carolinas in order to make millions. I don't care that he stepped out on his wife. I do care that he fucked many people in a part of the country I care about.

    John Edwards, personally, drove the textile industry out of the Carolinas, its last bastion, long after Berkshire Hathaway ceased to be a textile concern in New England and became Buffet's holding company.

    We can't make textiles in this country because textile companies cannot just do their best to make good textiles; they have to ensure that no truck driver is working extra shifts and may be sleepy.

    Long before people were laughing at Edwards, with rue, over his political aspirations, they were laughing at his duplicity. He destroyed the mills that put the food on his family table. There is no pint in lamenting the fact that the "media" failed to vet that guy; we know why.

    There is no person, or entity, that actually creates wealth, or earns a living, that the politicians, lawyers, or press, will not descend upon to consume. Neither politicians, nor lawyers, nor the press, actually create anything; they cannot create a living so they must take it.

    They will never stop; this is not some short-term problem. Never expect fair treatment and you will never be disapppointed.